Originally I wrote this article in Spanish in my Humor Blog. Let´s see if I can accurately translate it. (It has many many localisms).
A Series Fan is usually a regular guy. He is often interesting to talk to… except for those times when he gets together with another Series Fan. Mayhem! They turn into commenting machines in relation to those series they are watching.
They start their conjectures about what´s going to happen and how, and they become freakin´spoilers to anyone who isn´t up to the last episode.
They also can´t watch a movie with one of their favourite series´actors without seeing him/her trying to escape form an Island, doing diferentiales or fighting against Sylar.
Well, then, how to make one of those Series fans fall for you?
1- Never say to his face that you hate Series:
You may (only when not in a crowd of fans) say you didn´t get hooked by this or that show, but never say they´re garbage, or you´ll lose him forever.
Once you get to his heart, then you´ll be able to look at him with love and while caressing his cheek say: “But my dear… what do you like so much about Heroes?
2- You don´t need to keep up with his series schedule:
You don´t need to know if Desmond Hume ends up with Penny, if Arthur Petrelli is really dead or if Michael Scofield will finally be able to get Scylla.
As long as you let him enjoy peacefully his favourite tv shows without comments such as: “I mean, it´s just like Gilligan´s Island now” or “But that Doctor House is mean and a bad person“, your dreams man will have what exactly what he wants.
3- Never interrupt his main show:
Anything can wait about 42:43 minutes. I repeat: Anything. At least that´s how the Series Fan sees it. If you interrupted him and it wasn´t a matter of life or death, you lost him forever.
4- Never plan a romantic date for a Friday Night:
The Series Fan is more than willing to share with you a lovely saturday romantic date, but friday night is sacred.
In his mind he goes:
– You: “Honey… I planned a beautiful date for us on friday night: candles, dinner, movie and tons of cuddling”.
– Him: ¿Friday? (While in his head the following unravels: Previously on Lost, remembers last episode and thinks.. it airs on Thursday, much like many other series I watch… thank Lord for TiVo, I need to spend my Friday watching every show!) He will have cold sweat running through his back looking for a way out.
Remember, you doný need to make him suffer that much. Only move the scheduled date a day.
5- Never, under any circumstances, stand in front of the TV
He´ll contort in numerous way just to see what´s next on the show.
6- Don´t worry if you can´t follow the plots, nor do you ask him “How do you remember all those details?”
Good thing is he won´t question your trivia. Don´t you do it either. That´s the good thing. You don´t need to know.
7- If you are called Kate, Cameron or if you are a self regenerating teenager cheerleader, you´ll get extra points for sure.
If you have any ressemblance to any of his favourite characters, make it count in your behalf. (Well, unless his favourite character is played by Michael Chiklis).
8- Don´t get mad if you don´t understand his jokes:
They´re probably plot related and spoiler loaded.
9- Every Series Fan has the same “kryptonite” in common:
It doesn´t matter how many police, suspense, serial killers, vampires, lost islands, grumpy doctors, flying people, or geeks that get their way with the ladies they watch.
They always, I repeat, always, fall for a timely Friends quote and/or Simpsons quote.
That´s what will make you loving material. (You could ad some Seinfeld to the mix in order to become Simply Irresistible)
10- Remember the two golden rules of romance:
1- Be yoursefl. If it didn´t work so far, keep going, you might need to get even better… improving is easier than reinventing.
2- Think about the mantra: “It´s easier to ask forgiveness than permission”.
What do you think? Please leave your comments.