On today’s St. Patrick’s Day edition of THE MARTHA STEWART SHOW (Hallmark Channel, 10 AM ET/9 AM C – same day encore airing, 2 PM ET/next day airing, 1 PM ET), Saturday Night Live veteran returned to Martha’s kitchen to celebrate his Irish roots.  Donning the customary green, Colin reminisced about his visit same time last year when “some rebel had to come dressed in black” when the entire audience was asked to wear green.  During the hysterical segment, Martha tested Colin on his knowledge of Irish cuisine, asking him if he had ever heard of a “banger.” Proving he could be serious about his food, Colin proclaimed “Don’t set me up like that.  Sausage.”  But when asked why it was called Banger, Colin couldn’t resist stating the obvious, “I mean, I could take an educated guess.” Martha quickly realized where this was going, “It’s not dirty!  It’s not…this is a family show!”

Best Quotes from Colin Quinn on Martha Stewart Show

CQ:  I don’t want to be Major Bloomberg and stereotype the Irish or anything but you notice it’s the only instrument that’s kind of like taking a breathalyzer as you play it. 
MS: (laughs) I don’t know anything about that Colin. 
MS:  What is the best thing about being Irish?
CQ:  I think the fact that by the time we’re 12 it’s really over physically for us.  We’re the most beautiful kids, let’s be honest, Irish kids are the most beautiful kids, but after the age of 14, it just all falls apart. 
MS:  The most beautiful babies, right? Rosy cheeks.  Where’s your rosy cheeks?
CQ:  I have Rosacea cheeks right now.
MS:  And what’s the worst thing about being Irish?
CQ:  Well it used to be the food but now we’ve changed that in the past years with the Celtic Tiger.  Now the Irish are known for their food.
MS:  Do you know what a banger is?
CQ:  Sure, I do.  Don’t set me up like that.  Sausage. 
MS:  Do you know why it was called a banger?
CQ:  I mean, I could take an educated guess.
MS:  It’s not dirty!  It’s not.  I don’t know what you’re talking about. 
CQ:  I wouldn’t be a comedian if…
MS: You can keep going, this is a family show.
MS:  So in Long Story Short, do you have any of our show in there? 
CQ:  I did have a thing on the show, yes, about last year’s incident when we did the St. Patrick’s Day Show and somebody was wearing black in the audience and at the time –
MS:  Oh how awful.
CQ:  I know.  It drove you nuts, I remember.  You were like “Colin, somebody’s wearing black.  I told everybody to wear green.  Some rebel had to come dressed in black.”  And at the time I thought Martha’s just being too serious about it and then I realized I do get mad, I actually get mad when people don’t wear green on St. Patrick’s Day.  I feel like they’re trying to be rebellious and I don’t like that. 
MS:  Look at that guy right there (points at cameraman).  Look at that guy.  What the heck?
CQ:  What is that, a statement? 
MS:  He got a notice.  He got a notice he was supposed to wear green.  And he didn’t even put on anything green.  Any green underpants at least?  I bet not. 
CQ:  I feel like it’s a direct stab.  I feel like people are doing it aggressively. 
MS:  It is.  It’s aggressive behavior.