dexter-s05e09-teenage-wasteland-quotes-recap-spoilersWow, just wow. Watching Dexter and saying otherwise would be plain wrong. The show is on a creative high. Many were wondering how could they bounce back after killing Rita on Dexter, but the writers surely knew what they were doing.

In the episode S05E09 Dexter and Lumen are surprised by an unexpected guest. No other than Astor.

Best Quotes from Dexter S05E09 Teenage Wasteland

Jordan: I told you my secret. Are you ready to tell me yours.
Dexter: Over your dead body

Lumen: Run it for DNA. God, I love that you can do that

Astor: Who the fuck is she?
Dexter: Wanna try that again, Astor?

Dexter: Where did you get the liquor?
Astor: Does it matter?
Dexter: Of course it matters, you are twelve
Olivia. Twelve? You said you were fourteen

Harry Morgan: There´s a reason why serial killers don´t have children. You can´t be a killer and a dad.

Quinn: Even Laguerta said this is not gonna stick
Debra: And what? Do I have to trust her now?

Quinn: … and you have a boyfriend who loves you…
Debra: Seriously? Are you gonna drop that on me now?

Dexter: You were a teenager once. How do I deal with Astor?
Lumen: Well, talk to her.
Dexter: Last time I did that she told me she hated me and moved to Orlando
Lumen: Well, now you got a second chance

Lumen: What did you do at her age?
Dexter: I killed the neighbors dog
Lumen: Well, don´t tell her that

Harrison: Mama… mama
Lumen: I have no idea why he said that
Astor: She´s not your mama, your mama is dead

Olivia: My family is pretty weird too

Debra: Detective Scapegoat reporting for duty

Dexter: Tough morning. Astor showed up at my doorstep, drunk, with a friend
Masuka: How old is the friend…. Just Kidding

Lumen: What fourteen year old girl willingly leaves her cell phone behind?

Batista: It´s DNA, it´s not like she made it up

Debra: I didn´t know he had a tennant
Lumen: I didn´t know he had a sister

Debra: I´m not judging, I understand rebound just like anybody

Dexter: Deb knows my partner in crime. The whole department knows I´m seeing Jordan Chase. This is not my day

Dexter: Just tell me what´s wrong. I´m actually a good listener

Dexter: Why didn´t you tell me?
Astor: I thought you wouldn´t care

Astor: I didn´t know what to do
Dexter: You did know what to do. You came home

Laguerta: You still want to know the truth? Ask Quinn

Quinn: I´m an idiot, OK?
Debra: Yeah, you are

Dexter: Let me show you. That´s your solar plexus

Olivia´s Stepfather: Who are you, man? Some kind of psycho?
Dexter: Not today. Today I´m a concerned father

Harry Morgan: I´m proud of you Dexter

Quinn: What I said yesterday I mean it. I love you

Dexter: I´m proud of you
Astor: You are?
Dexter: You put yourself out there for someone else

Dexter: I love you. Do you know that? To Astor

Dexter: Jordan Chase told me to figure out what I wanted most. To be a good father

Dexter: I messed up
Masuka: No worries. When you mess up, it makes me feel better about myself

Jordan Chase: Take care Lumen

Recap from Dexter S05E09 Teenage Wasteland

Recap by deanspeir and MikeSaros

Dexter is running on the treadmill with Chase. Chase agreed to this session to gain insider access. Chase feels intense exercise is the way to get in touch with feelings. After the workout Dexter notices a necklace hanging in Chase’s locker that looks as if it contains a vile with blood in it. Dexter schedules another appointment for the next day. Dexter notices Chase has beefed up security since his own Chief of Security has gone missing.

Dexter calls Lumen and updates her about Chase, saying he thinks the blood could be a trophy from a victim. At this point someone starts to break into Dexter’s place and Lumen panics. She locks herself in the bathroom before we see the shadowy figures were actually Astor and her friend Olivia.

Astor and Olivia ran away, took a bus to town and were breaking in because they thought the place would be empty. They are both drunk. Dexter tells Astor that Lumen is a tenant, but she doesn’t seem to buy it. Dexter promises not to call Olivia’s parents or Astor’s grandparents until the next day and he decides to stay the night himself. Harry shows up and tell Dexter he needs to get the girls away from the place ASAP.

Debra tells Quinn she’s nervous about the upcoming meeting with the union rep. He lets it slip that he loves her and she leaves without responding. After Debra leaves Quinn gets a call from Liddy who is jazzed about his pics of Dexter and Lumen on the boat. Quinn blows him off.

The next morning Dexter says he’s going to keep his appointment with Chase and asks Lumen for advice on dealing with Astor. The girls wake up and Astor is unhappy when Harrison seems to call Lumen “mama.” She is convinced that he step-father has already taken up with another woman. Dexter says he wants to spend time with Astor after his meeting and she seems to go for it. Dexter leaves Harrison with Lumen.

Debra learns she has been sent to the file room until after her hearing. Angel tells her his report backed Debra, but the brass sided with Maria.

Debra goes down to file room and gets set-up with Francis. Debra begins reading the Boyd murder case.

After the next meeting/workout with Chase, Dexter manages to get into Chase’s locker while he’s in the shower. He sticks a needle into the vile and extracts just enough for a DNA sample. After Dexter leaves Chase notices his locker door was ajar. He grabs his necklace and realizes it has been tampered with.

Debra has noticed that there is no way Boyd could have killed all the women in the barrels by himself. DNA results show there must have been multiple perps. She takes the new info to Angel and Masuka and they realize the case needs to be re-opened. Cole and perhaps as many as four other men were involved. Angel is chosen to take this info to Maria.

Dexter brings his blood sample from Chase’s necklace into the office and Masuka grills him about it. A frantic Lumen calls to say when she got home from taking Harrison to the store she found the house empty. The door was ajar and the girls left their cell phones behind.

Dexter arrives and learns that Elliot saw a van leave the area and got a partial plate. Dexter suspects the break-in could be related to Cole and decides they must call the cops.

The department gets to work on looking for the van. Dexter hasn’t called Olvia’s parents yet and didn’t tell Rita’s parents Astor is missing. Dexter is forced to tell everybody that he was hanging out with Chase when Astor was taken. During this conversation it comes out that the barrel girls case might need to be opened.

The van is spotted by police, but it turns out to be driven by the boyfriend of Olivia’s mother, Barry. Barry tells Dexter the girls stole liquor and money from their house and he followed them there using the GPS in Olivia’s cell phone. At this point Dexter gets a call that the girls were picked up for shoplifting.

The girls claim the shoplifting was a mistake and they are let go. Dexter agrees to take the girls to his place and meet Barry after he gets his van out of impound.

Angels tell Maria about Debra examining the case file and discovering the new evidence. Maria thinks this could be Debra trying to get back at her and doesn’t think they should re-open the case.

Back at Dexter’s he ends up introducing Lumen to Debra, once again as “my tenant.” Debra asks a few questions but Dexter says nothing.

Dexter talks with Astor about why she’s been acting out. During the conversation Lumen and Olivia sit in another room. Lumen notices bruises on Olivia’s stomach and it comes out that Barry’s been hitting Olivia. Astor says Olivia’s been her only friend since Rita died and Dexter promises to take care of the situation.

When Debra hears about Maria’s theory she barges into her office. After forcefully explaining what happened, Maria changes her mind. During the conversation Maria tells her that Quinn had actually been on suspension and that she was protecting Dexter from him. She tells Debra to talk to Quinn if she wants the full story.

In an interrogation room Quinn admits to Debra he had a theory related to the Kyle Butler sketches looking like Dexter. Debra is furious as an apologetic Quinn tries to explain how wrong he had been and that he isn’t pursuing that line of inquiry any longer.

Dexter meets Barry and beats the bloody hell out of him, punching him in the same parts of the body where he had hit Olivia. Dexter makes him promise to leave Olivia’s mother. In the car Harry tells Dexter he’s proud of him for protecting Astor and looking out for Olivia.

Quinn arrives home to find Liddy waiting for him. Quinn wants to stop the investigation, but Liddy, convinced Dexter was dumping drugs or a body, thinks he on to something huge. They argue and Quinn forcibly grabs Liddy and tells him to leave him and Debra alone.

Maria officially re-opens the case. She and Angel talk and it is clear their marriage is having difficulties.

Quinn tells Debra he was wrong about his theory and that he really does love her. She will have none of it.

Dexter drops Olivia off at home and we learn Barry has followed Dexter’s forceful instructions, broken up with Olivia’s mother and taken off. Before Dexter drops Astor off at Rita’s parents place he tells her he loves her and that he is proud of her for looking after Olivia. She invites him to come in and see Cody.

At the station Dexter gets the results of Chase blood necklace. It belongs to a woman named Emily Birch. This woman lives in Coral Cables and has gotten two DUIs in the past few years. She isn’t a victim after all. But who is she?

Back at the apartment Lumen answers the phone. It is Chase, asking for Dexter in a very knowing, almost cocky way. Before hanging up Chase has one more message for her to give to Dexter: “Tick, tick, tick. That’s the sound of his life running out,” Chase says to the horrified woman. “Could you be sure to tell him that? Take care Lumen.”

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