Post filled with Spoilers of How I Met Your Mother. In an episode where Barney declares February 13th “Desperation Day,” a holiday for desperate women. Meanwhile, Lily surprises Marshall for Valentine’s Day, Ted and Zoey continue to figure out their relationship and Robin bonds with her single girlfriends.
Best Quotes from How I Met Your Mother S06E16 Desperation Day
Lily: Private Booty calling to report
Barney: My favourite day of the year. February 13th: Desperation Day
Ted: Hey, that´s true
Barney: Wait, there´s more
Ted: Yeah, that won´t be
Barney (As Saint Desperatius): And I thought Pompey was smokin´
Barney: February 13. A magical day where a ten has the self esteem of a four and the depraved enthusiasm of a two
Robin: I will be spending February 13th with some lovely single ladies from work
Robin: Who could care less about Valentine´s Day
Barney: Lying trolls
Barney: We said you were going to have sex, not to bring a carry on
Ted: Not slippers exactly, they are called british morning socks
Judy: My friend suggested a body pillow, but I´m not a lunatic
Marshall: I´m on the sickest Dr Mario run of my life
Ted: Stop freaking out Robin, stop freaking out!
Robin: This is Barney, a high functioning sociopath and my ex
Barney: That´s french for “what´s with the purple?”
Barney: You might as well be dog earing a tear stained bridal magazine while wolfing down the box of chocolates you had delivered for yourself at work from your fiance who no one´s ever met
Bev: Gerard is real!
Ted: Do you have Super Mario Kart?
Marshall: Oh yeah!
Barney: So, you were an olimpic gymnast?
Chick: Silver medal
Barney: Uh, sorry. Gold´s the only thing that really counts
Chick: That´s what my dad said
Barney: And she sticks the landing
Nora: There´s a difference between you and me
Barney: Yeah? what´s that?
Nora: I´m not saying this to get my way to your pants
Barney: Here´s the first thing you need to know about laser tag
Robin: So that´s it? A couple of white Urkels offer you sausages and you just go?
Barney: You think she smells like rain
Zoe: Really? An overnight bag for your own living room?
Barney: And that´s how Barney Stinson went on a date for Valentine´s Day for the first time of his life
Lily: We both knew this was gonna end eventually
Recap from How I Met Your Mother S06E16 Desperation Day
Recap by WerewolfBarMitzvah
Ted and Zoey have been kissing for a week and Ted finally decides to ask questions about her divorce, being single and figuring out who she is on her own. He tells her he’s OK taking things slow. Barney says he’s doing this all wrong, and Lily says there are kids in her Kindergarten class who are moving faster than him.
Ted says Zoey wants him to come over and bake that night, which Robin and Lily say is a “booty call.” Robin explains that ladies invent respectable excuses to invite a man over when they want “to get stuck real good — it’s called class, Ted.” Lily gets a little too excited about what the sexual possibilities are for Ted after the baking of cookies has ended. Ted realizes Marshall’s been in Minnesota too long, and Lily agrees that Valentine’s Day isn’t going to be the same without her and Marshall watching “Predator” together. This came out of a night in college when she and Marshall set out to watch “Sleepless in Seattle” only to discover that Marshall’s brothers had recorded “Predator” over it.
Barney uses Lily’s state of loneliness to launch into a Barney speech about how his favorite day of the year is Feb. 13, or what he calls “Desperation Day,” which Robin says is “not a thing,” but Barney insists it is. He says it dates back thousands of years, saying every woman wants a date on Valentine’s Day. He says that need “reaches its climax — what up? — on Feb. 13, a magical night when a 10 has the self-esteem of a 4, and the depraved enthusiasm of a 2.” He says the only thing you have to do is make sure you’re home alone by 11:59 to avoid waking up on a date on Valentine’s Day. Robin says she’ll be spending Feb. 13 with some single women from work, celebrating the fact that they don’t have to spend Valentine’s Day with “some dippy guy” carting around roses all day — “no offense, Ted.”
“None was taken, until just then,” Ted says.
Lily says she has to go to Minnesota because she’s getting weird without Marshall around. She first put Marshall’s Vikings jersey on her body pillow. Then she started cooking and making dinner for the pillow.
Ted admits his baking session ended abruptly because he brought an overnight bag to Zoey’s apartment and she asked him to leave.
Lily gets to Minnesota to surprise Marshall and finds him obsessed with his Game Boy and his mom is doing his laundry. He quickly kisses Lily, then heads back upstairs to keep playing. When he’s gone, his mom tells Lily to get him out of there.
Marshall’s mom explains that Marshall was helpful at first, but then he digressed into his teenage life.
Zoey shows up at Ted’s place apologizing for freaking out about Ted’s slippers in his bag. She said she wondered whether she was ready for this, and now she knows she is. He tries to clarify that they’re British morning socks.
Lily talks to Marshall about how it seems like his mom is doing more helping than Marshall is, but he insists that his mom needs to feel needed and it’s helping. Then he calls down to his mom for his chocolate milk with a swirly straw. Lily asks him if he wants to go back and watch “Predator” using his heat vision to hunt his prey. We cut to Barney, using heat vision at the bar to seek out his target. Back in Minnesota, Lily finally tells Marshall his mom wants him to leave. She denies it when Marshall asks, saying she’d be the happiest mom in Minnesota if he could stay forever. Then he mouths to Lily, “Get him out!”
Ted and Zoey make plans to spend their first Valentine’s Day together — a perfect one they’ll remember for years. This seems to make Ted a bit nervous. Robin amps this up, but telling him it’s pretty early. He tells her to stop freaking out — then heads to Minnesota to “help Marshall.”
Barney runs into Robin and two of her work friends who are trying to embrace their power the night before Valentine’s.
Ted is playing video games with Marshall, explaining to Lily that they’re helping Marshall’s mom. Then Ted calls down for more Sunny D.
Lily tells Marshall she’s going home and wants him to come with her. He says he has to stay, but she says his mom doesn’t need him anymore and his life in New York needs him. She leaves.
At the bar, Barney is talking to a blonde woman who was an Olympic gymnast. She says she won the silver medal, which turns Barney off and he begins to walk away, saying, “Gold’s the only thing that really counts.”
“That what my dad said,” she says, dejectedly, prompting Barney to respond to himself, “And… she sticks the landing.” He tells her to start stretching while he goes to talk to one of Robin’s friends, who confides in Barney that she actually loves Valentine’s Day. He plays along with the hopeless romantic thing until she realizes there’s a difference between the two of them — she wasn’t saying any of this to get in his pants.
Marshall admits to Ted that he misses his dad. He tells him about how when they’d go camping, his dad would drive in the darkness and even though Marshall couldn’t see beyond the car’s headlights, he always felt safe. Now, he said, he doesn’t know where he’s going.
Barney goes back to Robin’s friend and tells her about Desperation Day — saying “it’s becoming a thing.” He tells her that her whole romantic thing comes off a bit desperate and he was trying to help her. Then he starts telling her about Laser Tag, which is where he’ll be spending his Valentine’s Day.
Back in Minnesota, Marshall tells Ted that he (Ted) can’t hide in Minnesota and avoid his real life. Then Marshall realizes they both need to grow up and face their lives. They need to drive back to New York immediately. Then he calls down to his mom to make some PB&Js for the road. He stops himself and reiterates that their grown men. Then he calls down to his mom again to tell her to leave the crusts on.
Barney finishes telling Robin’s friend about Laser Tag, telling her that Robin is his partner in the tournament. Robin’s friends have left because a couple of nerdy guys invited them to get hot dogs. Nora, Robin’s friend, leaves too. Afterward, Robin makes fun of Barney because he struck out on Desperation Day and clearly likes Nora.
Marshall drives in the dark out of Minnesota and as he struggles to see beyond the headlights, his dad pays a visit from the back seat to confess that he never could see beyond the headlights, either. He just kept driving forward and hoping for the best. So that’s what Marshall did, out of Desperation Day and into Valentine’s.
Zoey shows up at Ted’s apartment with an overnight bag.
Barney calls Robin, who stood him up for Laser Tag. She tells him there was a change of plans and adds, “Happy Valentine’s Day.” That’s when Nora shows up in Laser Tag gear, saying Robin told her to meet them there.
Lily is watching “Predator” alone when Marshall shows up and wishes her a Happy Valentine’s Day.
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