The always hilarious Kevin Nealon paid Martha some lip service just in time for Valentine’s Day on the special “Kissing Show” edition of The Martha Stewart Show (Hallmark Channel, 10 AM ET/9 AM C – same day encore airing, 2 PM ET/next day repeat, 1 PM ET). During an entire hour dedicated to everything kiss-related, Kevin stopped by to plant a big one on Martha and prepare Kissable Ice Cream Sandwiches. While baking, Kevin talked about his first kiss when he “was 35” which he described as “very sloppy.” “It was with my dog. And it was just all tongue.” All this talk and no action had Martha questioning Kevin’s multitasking skills but he couldn’t help but give Martha some lip asking, “And how much am I getting paid an hour for this?”
Best Quotes from Kevin Nealon on Martha Stewart Show
ON KEVIN’S FIRST KISS:
MS: Tell everyone the story of your first kiss. Do you remember?
KN: Uh, my first kiss. It was a very sloppy kiss. It was with my dog. And it was just all tongue. I said no tongue! No tongue… but my first real kiss. I was in a hay-ride and I was very nervous about kissing the girl.
MS: How old were you?
KN: I was 35. No, I was probably about 15 or 16.
MS: You were a late bloomer!
KN: The hay-ride was almost over and I was nervous. I knew I had to make my move. Finally I went in for the kiss. I was so nervous and I just closed my eyes and I was kissing her saying “this isn’t so bad.” And then I felt something weird in my mouth and I didn’t realize I was kissing her eye. I had my eyes closed and her eyelashes were fluttering and I thought she had a mustache but it was her eyebrow! And I thought, I didn’t see this mustache before? I was so embarrassed afterwards. And then I saw her two weeks later and she had a patch on her eye.
ON KEVIN’S CHARACTER IN JUST GO WITH IT & HIS PLASTIC SURGERY:
MS: So did you base that character on anybody in particular?
KN: It was kind of a combination of a few different people…Kenny Rogers, Joan Rivers, Wayne Newton, ya know. But I had to sit in the make-up chair for three hours to get that done, and for five different days, so it would have been more convenient if I actually had the plastic surgery done and not have to go through all of the make up.
MS: No, you look better in real life.
KN: Well thank you very much. I’ve had a lot of work done.
ON PREPARING LIP COOKIES:
KN: I can’t believe I’m making lip cookies with Martha Stewart.
KN: Ya know, I used to make donuts at Dunkin Donuts, for two weeks.
MS: Really? You did? How fabulous!
KN: I made Krispy Cream donuts at Dunkin Donuts. I mixed it up a little bit.
MS: They don’t let you do that!
KN: Now I’m touching it with my fingers, that are unwashed… so just remember this one is mine.
MS: [GASP]… that’s not good [pointing to Kevin’s lip mold].
KN: No, no, this is the lip of a guy who was in a fight!
MS: That looks like my lip last week after my dog head-butted me. Oh brother! Have you ever been head-butted on your mouth? By a dog? Not by a person, by a dog!
KN: No I can’t say that I have.
MARTHA ON KEVIN’S LACK OF MULTI-TASKING SKILLS:
KN: Well I’m going to be doing two things at once now…
MS: Now use your little cookie cutter. And we can’t talk too much. I mean, you can talk while you work, but you can’t talk and not work!
KN: Oh, I see. And how much am I getting paid an hour?
MS: You’re getting a lot!
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