Ok, if you follow this site enough, you´d already know Phil Dunphy, Barney Stinson and the duo Shawn Spencer/Burton Guster are the ones that crack me the most. And Modern Family is no doubt one of the funniest sitcoms nowadays and given it enough time, it will be in the Hall of Fame of perennial funny shows. I have showed the best quotes from Phil Dunphy, and now a new episode called Princess Party aired, where the guest list for Lily’s princess-themed birthday party gets a little out of hand when Mitchell decides to invite mom, much to Claire’s dismay, and disinvite Fizbo, much to Cameron’s dismay. Things get even more strange when Dede (guest star Shelley Long) shows up with Claire’s old high school boyfriend (guest star Matt Dillon) in tow, and Jay and Gloria each turn to their own unique methods of dealing with this gathering of misfits.
Best Quotes from Modern Family S02E15 – Princess Party
Claire: We had you tested six times. Believe me, I was praying for dislexia
Phil: Hey Luke, if your mom starts to lose it, I need you to lighten the mood by being extra cute
Luke: No problem, I´ve got some stuff prepared.
Mitchell: Gun to my head, I´d say pull the trigger
Mitchell: The center of attention at Lily´s party should be Lily; not Fizbo the needy clown
Mitchell: Well, if the shoe fits
Cam: They don´t. They are comically large
Luke: Ok, I need a giant lollypop and I need it now
Robby: How do you know Claire?
Phil: I know Claire from being married to Claire
Claire: Mom didn´t mention that I am married with three kids?
Robby: No, all she said is that you are still trying to figure out your life
Claire: Really? Mom
Dede: Aren´t we all?
Claire: No, not really
Claire: Mom, I could use some help in the kitchen
Dede: Your words, not mine
Dede: I don´t know about you, but I was not raised that way
Claire: You raised me
Gloria: That was a bear
Jay: A bear? I was going to get a crucifix
Claire: I don´t see mom since she made out with my ex boyfriend
Gloria: Buenos Dias Dede mi amor bello como estas?
Claire: You win. I´m screaming at a Princess Party
Robby: Your little intimidation thing may have worked when I was a kid. But I´m a full grown man now… and I´ll go
Phil: I got Gloria!
Recap from Modern Family S02E15 – Princess Party
Recap by MurphAndTheMagicTones
Claire (Julie Bowen) is at a full boil already, and Phil (Ty Burrell) is going to stop it before it starts. Her mother, DeDe, is coming to town, and Phil wants the kids on their best behavior. Alex (Ariel Winter) will just play the cello in her room, and Luke (Nolan Gould) has pages of cutesy material to roll out to help Claire. But Alex playing the theme to Jaws was so apropos, as DeDe (Shelley Long) comes in…with Claire’s high school boyfriend, Robbie Sullivan (Matt Dillon). (Oh, we’re just gettin’ started with the awkward stuff.) Turns out DeDe invited Robbie to dinner at Claire’s, and to Lily’s Princess Birthday Party, and didn’t tell Robbie that Claire was married. He actually has to meet Phil for the evidence. (And Phil’s hand still smelled like cheese.)
DE DE: Oh, Claire! Sometimes I forget you’re all grown up! In my mind, you’re still just twelve! But look at us: two old ladies!
(FYI, that would be the nicest thing DeDe says to Claire the entire episode.)
To back up a bit, Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) and Cameron (Eric Stonestreet) are throwing Lily a Princess-themed birthday party, and somehow Cameron thinks Fizbo would be perfect for it. Naturally Mitchell (and those with taste) disagree. Understandable, because one of their friends was going to be in Chicago, and Cameron thought that meant the musical.
MITCHELL: It’s a princess party theme, and clearly you don’t respect party themes.
CAMERON: You did NOT just say that.
MITCHELL: (apologetic) You’re right, that crossed a line. I’m sorry.
Fizbo still wasn’t invited, though. Jay (Ed O’Neill) and Gloria (Sofía Vergara) bought a children’s book for Lily (turning down Manny’s suggestion of cashmere) where they could record their voices. After much effort, and Manny’s (Rico Rodriguez) assistance with playing the baby bear, they got it. Although Manny thought he would have done a better job had he known the baby bear was a girl. (JAY: I think you nailed it.) But Gloria was hesitant about going to the party since DeDe was going to be there, and their last 2 meetings (including the wedding) were disasters. Gloria hoped Jay wasn’t too upset.
JAY: (in interview) GREATEST! NEWS! EVER!!!
In fact, he even thought the same technique would work to get him out of the communion of their friend’s daughter. Until Gloria decided she wasn’t going to let DeDe dictate when and where she could visit her family, because she wanted to see the kids’ birthdays and graduations.
Claire consults with Mitchell about their mother bringing Robbie over for dinner.
CLAIRE: Every time he opens his mouth, I can feel my daughters losing respect for me.
MITCHELL: It is totally amazing the freaks we used to date.
FIZBO: ‘Allo, Gov’nor!
Mitchell shoots down the “court jester” angle Cameron thought up for Fizbo. (“There goes the theory that a British accent makes everybody sound smart.”) Then he hits Cam/Fizbo with the fact he hired a princess for the party. (cue the gasp…) Cameron is going ballistic, but Mitch tells him to act like a parent for once.
As DeDe regails Claire’s kids with stories of Claire sneaking in at 3 in the morning with Robbie, which Haley (Sarah Hyland) loved, btw, Claire relied on Phil’s technique of squeezing his hand under the table rather than getting ticked off at her mother. He might have broken a few fingers on this one. Ordinarily, Claire liked roller coasters, but not this one. Phil thought the night was about DeDe wishing Claire married Robbie instead of him. However, they catch catches DeDe making out with her limo driver, Robbie. At least Phil’s off the hook.
The party was a disaster. And within the first five seconds. Cameron eyed the priness like a stalker (“Glitter? That’ll settle in her lungs.”), DeDe was AWOL but left notes about her good time with Robbie, and Gloria decided to take in the party with some Xanax…washed down with a shot of tequila. DeDe showed up with Robbie and Cameron berated the princess for breaking character after he hounded her for methods of payment. Mitchell thinks it’s about him for DeDe not staying over, Claire thought it was about her and her ex-boyfriend, and Jay thought it was about him and having a younger wife now. And the well-medicated Gloria wondered why everybody was having a bad time at a party. Well, since DeDe critcized Lily’s wardrobe and Robbie put Mitchell in a headlock and gave him head noogies like he did when they were kids and Gloria was practically making out with DeDe, there might have been an issue or two.
Claire confronts Robbie, who confesses he always had a crush on DeDe (while he was dating Claire!) and was fulfilling his fantasy. And Robbie misinterprets that as Claire still wanting him, which he tells DeDe…and she’s ticked!
CLAIRE: Why does everything have to be so hard with you? Why can’t be you just be a normal old grandma? It’s a sick game with you! You push people and push people to see how far you can push them! Well guess what? You win! I’m screaming at a Princess Party, Mom!!
Phil tells Robbie to leave, but he refuses becaus he thinks the princess likes him. Then Jay intimidates him into going, and he does. And Gloria playfully hits Jay with a balloon. On the good side, Mitchell gives Cam the green light to break out Fizbo.
MITCHELL: I guess every kid needs a little clown for a dad.
CAMERON: Oh, you just made a little girl so happy!
MITCHELL: Yes, I can see that.
DeDe was almost crying in the corner because she gave in to the attentions of a younger man. Jay waves it off, but it went deeper than that. DeDe left to find something better and still hasn’t done it. But Jay said he didn’t have the guts to end the marriage when it needed to be.
DE DE: I just don’t want to be thought of as ‘crazy Nana.’ I think my real problem…IS HER!!!! (attacks Gloria)
So it was about Jay. And once again, Phil’s got Gloria. But Lily did like the book. The recording in the book, where Jay drinks and says Cam’s going to return it anyway, not so much. (cue gasp)
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