Complete Recap and Spoilers of Desperate Housewives Season Finale – “Everybody Says Don’t/If It’s Only In Your Head” – May 17, 2009

Desperate Housewives started as a sort of sitcom slash Melrose Place kind of show… then turned out to be a mystery slash police show, afterwards happened to be about romance…
any way they make it is succesful… why?
I don´t know… but yesterday Desperate Housewives aired season finale. And here are all the spoilers for Desperate Housewives…

And remember, Desperate Housewives is renewed for a new season

Complete Recap and Spoilers of Desperate Housewives Season Finale – “Everybody Says Don’t/If It’s Only In Your Head” – May 17, 2009

Mary Alice tells us that Dave Williams wanted to be forgiven, that’s why he made the videotape. We see Dave make a video confession saying that he didn’t want to kill MJ Delfino, he had to. He says Susan killed his wife and daughter and she shouldn’t be allowed to walk free. He says simply killing Susan would mean that there would be no suffering, like he’s, um suffered. He says for those who wonder how he could take the life of an innocent child, and he begins to cry… and then is interrupted by the doorbell. It’s MJ, who has come over to show Dave his new tacklebox for their fishing trip.

The doctor’s unclaimed body from the nightclub fire was referred to as a John Doe by police. We see them go through the machinations to figure out it was Dr. Heller from Boston: towed car, rental agreement, dental records. They go to see the receptionist and she swears he’s not dead because she’s been getting texts from him. The cops decide to text back to whoever is claiming to be Dr. Heller.

Dave heads over to Susan’s to show her the little life vest he got for MJ. He hadn’t really told Susan that the trip was back on, but he had told MJ. He says since Jackson got deported he knows she’s been depressed and the trip will help. Susan wants to stay close by in case he calls. Dave presses. Susan turns him down. Dave keeps her from shutting the door and gets creepy saying he’s just thinking about MJ. Dave backs off, finally.

Lynette and Preston are arguing about his future. He wants to spend six months in Europe, she wants him to go to college. Lynette says if he applies for a passport they’ll cut him off. As Preston heads back upstairs Lynette wonders why Tom didn’t back her up. He says he was on the “track” and he was chewed up and spit out and maybe Preston should be having fun and that Lynette’s way isn’t always the only way. She says she knows he’s discouraged- he’s reading the want ads-but they need to keep Preston on the straight and narrow. Tom asks what he can do. Lynette asks him to take him on a campus tour and get him excited about how fun college can be.

Gaby is putting on jewelry and Juanita is watching and wondering why. Gaby says they’re going to a family reunion and she has to look her best. She also believes Juanita is now old enough to hear the truth: Carlos’ side of the family is “trash.” Juanita wonders why they’re going then and Gaby is getting all duded up. Gaby says when grown-ups don’t like each other they don’t say mean things or punch each other they do subtle things- like wear expensive jewelry- to make others feel bad about their lives.

Bree and Karl are checking on the “stolen” goods in the storage space. She confirms Orson thinks she filed an insurance claim. Karl says by the time he finds out she didn’t they’ll be divorced and he’ll be broke. Bree looks forward to being single, focusing on her business and traveling. Karl, who is odious throughout, offers to set her up. They depart and Orson watches from the street.

Susan is leaving her house when she gets a call from Jackson. He’s in jail waiting for deportation. He’s leaving in a couple of days and wanted to call and say thanks and that he’ll miss her. She thanks him also. Jackson thinks Mike turned him in and had the look of a man who didn’t really want to get married. Susan sees Mike across the way and they exchange a wave.

Tom and Preston return and Tom is full of inspiration about the campus, the engaged professors, the friendly kids. Lynette is thrilled. But it turns out that Preston is still planning on going to Europe and it’s Tom who wants to go (back) to school. Lynette is unsure. Tom says this time around he’d have focus and knows what he wants to major in: Chinese.

Lynette tells the girls and they’re equally unsure. They all counsel her that she’ll be better off nipping this dream in the bud. She doesn’t want to come off like a bitch. Bree tells her she doesn’t have to, she just needs to wait for an opportunity to point out her concerns while at the same time beng supportive. Susan spies Mike out the window and says she has to run.

She goes over to Katherine and Mike’s. He’s in the shower but Susan says she’ll wait to Katherine’s chagrin.

Bree comes home to discover all of her “stolen” property back where it belongs and Orson sitting at the table with the jester’s mask. He asks why she would stage a break in and hide things from him. She explains that she wants a divorce and how her lawyer advised her that Orson could get half of everything acquired during the marriage so she hid some of them since they both know she paid for them. He’s aghast she’s already hired an attorney. She says she’s tired of the lying and he can have whatever he wants. He says he doesn’t want a divorce. She says that part’s non-negotiable and he should start to make a list of what he wants to take. She says all she wants is out.

Susan waits for Mike. Katherine wonders what’s wrong. Susan asks if Mike turned Jackson in to immigration. Katherine knows he didn’t and finally admits that she never told Mike that Susan was marrying Jackson for a green card and that she sent the text pretending to be Mike and offering to keep paying alimony. Katherine was worried he’d change his mind about his proposal to her if he knew the truth. Susan says this is unfair to Mike and he needs to know the truth. Katherine is tearful saying she can make him happy, he just needs to get over Susan. Mike comes down and Susan, forced by Katherine, offers her blessing for his and Katherine’s engagement.

The Solis’ arrive at Aunt Connie’s and Carlos says he wishes Gaby would take off some of her bling since Connie has fallen on hard time and she doesn’t want Gaby to make her feel bad. Gaby decides to uncover another bracelet. Carlos wonders why Gaby hates Connie, who was like a second mother to him, so much. Gaby says she always puts her down and if he paid attention he would see. On cue Aunt Connie (played by a dramatically slimmed-down Liz Torres) arrives and compliments Gaby’s beauty.

Lynette is unpacking grocery bags and listening to the answering machine. A message from a professor Tom met during his campus visit is instructing him that he was given the wrong date for the admissions test, it’s actually tomorrow at 8 am. As the message ends Tom enters and Lynette suggest they go out for dinner and drinks as a way to celebrate his going back to school since they don’t have to get up early. Tom loves this idea.

At the family reunion Connie announces she only has a few months to live due to a weak heart she’s been battling her whole life. Connie has been caring for her granddaughter and now needs someone- who can afford it- to take her in. All of the other family members come up with reasons they can’t take the girl in. Carlos is about to offer up their home when Gaby stops him and says everyone should take the night to think about who can take Anna in.

Bree is tossing a large salad when Orson enters and offers to help. He announces that he’s not moving out and that he’s staying to work on their marriage. Bree says their marriage is over. He disagrees and informs her that he in fact did file an insurance claim and he will happily let his ex-wife go to jail for insurance fraud but not his wife. She asks him not to do this and says she doesn’t love him. He says every marriage has its ebbs and flows and he has enough love for both of them.

Gaby and Carlos discuss taking in Anna, who is a teenager. He says it’s the right thing to do and she’s selfish for not wanting to help out. Gaby says it’s a risk to their own children. Carlos says Aunt Connie saved him and his mother when they had nowhere else to turn. Gaby says she’s probably been waiting to call in this favor. Carlos says they’re so blessed and that perhaps this is why he got his sight back and their fortunes turned around. He asks if she wouldn’t want someone to do this for their girls if something happened to them.

Lynette and a drunk Tom return from their night out. Lynette plays the message. Tom freaks out. Lynette pretends to be surprised.

Dave gets a text from Dr. Heller’s receptionist. He pours a drink and gets a visitation from the late Dr. Who informs him that the police are on to him. Dave destroys his phone. The hallucination tells him he should’ve stayed on his meds.Dave counters he’s getting away with this. A hallucination of his wife and daughter appears and asks him if all he wants is justice why he cares if he’s caught. The wife says they should be together. Dave asks if he should just walk over and kill MJ now? A hallucination of Edie says yes since the whole point is to make Susan suffer and then the whole world will understand what he’s beeng going through. He suddenly has a gun in his hand and he’s alone.

Mike and MJ are playing catch when Susan comes over to chat. She apologizes for being underenthusiastic about his engagement. Mike says with Jackson being deported he knows the timing was bad. Susan agrees and adds that it happened so quickly she wanted to be sure Mike knew what he was doing. She asks Mike if he loves Katherine. He asks why she would ask. She tells him to answer the question. He says he does. Susan says good and that’s all she needed to hear. She hopes they’ll be happy together. He says he hopes everything will work out with Jackson. She says it probably won’t and it’s complicated. Katherine rushes in and cheerily wonders what’s happening. They say they were talking about her and Susan congratulates Katherine on the engagement.

Tom comes home and says the test went very poorly. She tells him not to sweat it and they can get him a book to learn Chinese. He says a book can’t help him become fluent in Mandarin, which would’ve enabled him, with his marketing experience, to move into an emerging market. She realizes this is actually a great idea and wonders why he didn’t explain it like that before. He says it doesn’t matter now, it’s over. He apologizes for letting her down.

Mike and Katherine inform Susan they’re getting married in Vegas this weekend. Katherine asks Susan to be her maid of honor and then realizes that’s crazy. Susan says she can’t because she and MJ have big plans this weekend.

Dave grabs his gun and tucks it in his pants and heads towards MJ. Susan intercepts him as he’s just about to pull out the gun and says she and MJ can go fishing after all and it would be good to get out of town. Dave agrees.

We see Connie on the phone thanking Carlos for offering to take in Anna and says she’ll finally be at peace knowing this news and to thank Gaby for her. Another relative brings her a beer and asks if Connie is going to tell them the truth about Anna. Connie says they’ll find out soon enough.

McCluskey’s sister Roberta (Lily Tomlin) is half in the bag and answers the phone. It’s the receptionist from Dr. Heller’s office, she tells Roberta about the visit from the police.

Roberta goes to McCluskey and breaks the news and they deduce it must’ve been Dave who killed him. McCluskey wonders what they should do. Roberta says they have to go the police. McCluskey wishes they had more proof. They decide to break into Dave’s house to look for evidence.

The police come to talk to Jackson in deportation lock up. They show him a picture of Dr. Heller and he doesn’t recognize him. He does remember running into Dave coming out of the storage room. Jackson says Dave is one of the nicest guys he’s ever met, he can’t believe he had anything to do with it. Jackson leaves and the police note that in the handful of times they’ve talked to Dave, he’s never mentioned anything about being in the storage room.

Dave opens a briefcase full of meds and pulls out a videotape.

Mike and Susan are strapping MJ in the car for the fishing trip. Dave hands Mike the video claiming it’s of their band. But he tells him not to watch it until he gets back from his wedding. Susan tells him to have a nice wedding and they have a long hug. Mike asks Dave to take good care of his boy. Dave says he will but then gives a weird look that Mike catches in the driver’s side mirror.

Mike goes into the house and drops the video into a drawer.

At the top of the second hour we get an onscreen title:

Three Years Earlier.

We see Dave having an idyllic day with his wife and daughter. His wife was superloving and awesome. She suggests an ice cream trip. He demurs saying he brought work home, but he suggests they go and the next night they’ll all do something together. Lila and Page take off for ice cream and then crash into Susan and Mike.

Back in the present Dave is driving Susan and MJ off for their trip.

Mike and Katherine are getting ready to depart for Vegas when Mike expresses concern about a weird vibe he got from Dave. Katherine points out that weird vibes are Dave’s specialty and they need to get a move on. She mentions they have to stop to pick up blank video for the camera but he says not to bother since he has some old ones in the drawer they can record over. Of course, Katherine grabs the one Dave gave him.

The Solis’ eagerly await Anna’s arrival. Both Gaby and Carlos are nervous but feel like they’re doing the right thing for a girl who’s been bounced around the family: dad’s gone, mom’s in jail. Carlos saw her last as a six-year-old and remembers going for ice cream and piggy back rides. She shows up very much a grown-up Lolita.

A tearful Bree informs Karl of the latest developments re: Orson. Karl points out that Orson is a little crazy. Bree agrees wholeheartedly. Karl says it’s not the end of the world. She points out that she’s being blackmailed by a man she was starting to despise and if she doesn’t pretend to love him he can have her arrested. Karl tells her they’ll think of something. Bree thinks Orson is holding all the cards. Karl disagrees.

Lynette is brushing her hair and is overcome by a hot flash or something. Tom calls her down and gives her the amazing news that he passed the test and scored in the top 5 percent and that he’s in school. Everyone congratulates him and Porter tells him he’s not allowed to talk to him on campus. They decide to go for hot fudge sundaes. Lynette begs off for a moment to call her oncologist and inform him that she thinks the cancer is back.

In the car MJ asks for a juice box but Susan declines not wanting to make a bunch of potty stops. MJ says he misses diapers. Susan jokes about the joys of parenting. Dave says he remembers and explains he had a little girl who died. Susan expresses shock and sympathy. Dave says he’s learning to deal with it.

McCluskey, still armed with Edie’s extra key, breaks into Dave’s with Roberta. The police arrive to speak to Dave and catch the ladies in the house.

A man is waiting for Orson on the steps. Orson asks what he can do for him and the man grabs him by the throat and begins asking if Orson wants him to let go. He, naturally, says he does. The man does and says now Orson also needs to “let go.” Orson says he doesn’t understand, the man thinks he does and says if Orson doesn’t “let go” next time neither will he.

Anna is settling in at the Solis’ and Gaby is trying to get to know her and giving her the lay of the land, chores, 10 pm curfew on weeknights, 11 pm on weekends. Gaby notices designer dresses among Anna’s things and Anna says she dates rich college guys who buy her pretty things in exchange for the pleasure of her company and the “possibility” of something more. Gaby wonders how long Anna thinks this will last. She replies 10 on weeknights and 11 on the weekends.

Bree arrives home to a ruffled Orson and wonders what’s wrong. Orson tells her to ask her friend who assaulted him and says he got the message loud and clear. She says she had nothing to do with it. He wonders who else would. She says she doesn’t know but that she would never hire someone to hurt him and he has to believe her. He says he does and jumps up, packed bag in hand and says he’ll stay, and once he’s unpacked she can mend his shirt. Bree looks stricken.

Gaby and Carlos run off to the store and Anna promises to sweep the porch and make sure Juanita and Celia do their chores too. Anna spies Porter and Preston tossing a ball around. Gaby and Carlos return and Gaby marvels at the clean house and wonders how Anna did it so quickly as Porter, Preston, and Parker run down vacuum and cleaning supplies in tow. She says they insisted on helping. Juanita wants to learn how to make boys do things too.

Gaby sits down with Anna and says they will love and support her but in exchange she will follow their rules which include doing chores, no more boys in the house, and no more gifts from men. Anna calls Gaby jealous for not being young anymore and the fact that she can’t get guys to do things for her anymore. Gaby tells her to make one more statement like that and she’ll throw her ass out on the street. Anna goes outside and pretends to cry as Carlos shows up on the front porch. Of course, this starts a fight between Carlos and Gaby, and Carlos of course takes Anna’s side. Anna walks in and gives Gaby the smug look of victory.

At the police station, Roberta, McCluskey and the police start putting the pieces together with the prescription bottles with the name “David Dash” on them that the ladies found.

Lynette finds out from the doctor that it’s not the cancer returning, she’s six weeks pregnant.

At the airport Mike chats with Susan and tells Katherine everything is fine. Katherine asks if he really wants to get married. Mike profusely professes his love and convinces her. She heads off to get a cappucino but as she pulls out her wallet she hits the play button on the video camera. Mike hears Dave’s voice coming from her purse and grabs the camera and sees the video and takes off telling a woman nearby to tell Katherine he had to go and it was an emergency. For some reason the woman only tells her that he had to go and said he was sorry, leaving out the emergency part. Katherine, naturally, does not look happy.

Bree enters Karl’s office livid and says that he’s been pulling her into his moral cesspool and she doesn’t even recognize herself anymore. He says she’s loved every minute of being the bad girl and so has he because she’s the most fascinating woman he’s ever met. She tries to brush this off and says she detests him. He says what she really wants is for him to kiss her until her knees buckle. She fires him and he kisses her. She says her knees haven’t buckled and he kisses her again.

Mike is driving frantically and calls Susan. She and Dave and MJ are singing in their car. Mike tells Susan not to react and informs her that Dave is Dave Dash, the husband of the woman they killed in the accident and that she’s in danger. He tells her to get away from his as soon as possible and that he’s calling the police. Susan plays it off that Mike’s flight has been cancelled and they start to sing again.

Susan asks Dave if he wants to stop to stretch their legs are eat. He says they’re almost there. She hands MJ a juicebox.

Lynette comes home to find Tom all jazzed up on school supplies for his new college career. She breaks the news. He can’t believe it, saying they’re old. Lynette says apparently not old enough. They freak about the future. And Lynette informs him it gets better, it’s twins, again.

MJ announces he has to go potty and it’s an emergency. Dave pulls over to the side of the road to have him pee in the bushes. He gets a call and it’s the police saying they know everything and to come in before anyone gets hurt. Susan approaches him from behind and whacks him with a rock. She runs to the car but the keys aren’t in it. As she goes to grab them from Dave’s pocket he grabs her hand. She takes off and tells MJ to run. She falls and tells MJ they’re playing a game and it’s important to win so he has to find a good hiding place and to not come out even if he hears Dave calling him. MJ takes off and Dave arrives and threatens Susan with the gun, pointing it at her face and telling her to call him. She yells his name but tells him not to come out. Dave whacks Susan with the gun. Dave takes off to look for MJ -they’re in a cemetery. (How much you wanna bet it’s the one where his wife and daughter are buried?) He calls out to him trying to bribe him with offers to drive the boat and then says they’ll leave without him and he’ll be alone in the scary graveyard after dark. He finds him and brings him back to a rousing Susan to whom MJ happily pronounces he’ll be driving the boat.

Back in the car, with MJ watching a video on headphones in the backseat, Dave keeps a gun trained on Susan and tells her to buckle up. She asks what he’s going to do and he tells her to shut up and let him think. Susan tries to plead with him and apologizes for the accident and that she knows he’s a good person. He tells her not to analyze him. She says he won’t get away with it since Mike already called the cops. Mike calls on Susan’s phone and Dave answers. Mike tries to talk him down and offers himself in exchange. Dave asks Mike how it feels to know he can’t save the people he loves. Mike begs him and says he should be the one. Dave agrees and says he should be the one and tells him to meet at the site of the accident, no cops.

Dave, Susan and MJ arrive first. Dave says he thought it would be poetic. Susan says not to hurt Mike since it wasn’t his fault. Dave says he knows it was hers but Mike wants to be the hero. He hauls Susan out and ties her up. And then informs her as Mike turns the corner he’s going to drive into him so Susan can watch Mike kill their child just as Susan killed Dave’s. Susan cries and pleads and asks what if his daughter could see him now, is that how he’d want to be seen as a monster who would murder an innocent child? Dave says he’s not a monster. Susan calls after him. Dave gets back in the car and unbuckles a sleeping MJ in the backseat. Dave adjusts his rearview and sees a vision of his own daughter in the backseat.

Susan gets herself untied just as Mike drives up and she tries to flag him down but it’s too late, he barrels into Dave’s car. Susan runs up calling after MJ and he runs to her saying Dave told him to get out of the car. Mike straggles out of his car and embraces Susan and MJ, then they kiss.

We cut to Dave, whose eyes flutter open and he flashes back to that night and his wife asking to go out for ice cream. This time, he asks them to stay and offers to make smores. He says work can wait and that he always has time for his girls.

We then cut to Dave in a Boston mental hospital.

We then get a title card:

Two Months Later.

We cut to a church. Inside Mike is getting married and Mary Alice is telling us the things the minister is talking about like: the joy of giving birth (a shot of Lynette running off to get ill); the pleasures of raising a family (with Gaby observing a look between an older man and Anna and snapping her fingers to get their attention focused back on the altar); the importance of lifelong fidelity (as we see Bree sitting beside Orson but shooting a look at Karl one pew behind her); and then he said you may now kiss the bride and Mike pulls back the veil and it’s, well that’s the cliffhanger folks they don’t show us the face of the bride. Is it Susan or Katherine? See you next season.

Author: brayvalentine for IMDB

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