This is a show that I was not particularily excited about. I thought I wasn´t going to like it for many reasons, and those same reasons made me like it. I thought Samberg as a cop was going to be bad, it isn´t, I thought Braugher would not work with the premise, he is wonderful as usual. Terry Crews´s character is funny too, and Joe LoTruglio was the one I was most worried about. So far the show is becoming a solid comedy. They just need to find a way to use Chelsea Peretti a bit better. So, that´s why It took me three whole episodes to start this article and therefore the best quotes from Brooklyn Nine Nine start at episode four.
Best Quotes from Brooklyn Nine Nine
Crews: Take Diaz and Peralta
Boyle: The dream threesome… I mean cop crew
Peralta: You should have been the worst fourth grader ever.
Peralta: Captain, Santiago broke the glass.
Boyle: Let´s go Jake in the Box
Peralta: Don´t ever call me that.
Captain: Are you bowing?
Santiago: No, this is how I walk.
Diaz: What´s up Quasimodo?
Peralta: I´ve been given a direct order to do nothing, so what brings you here.
Peralta: To you, and that gynormous fat man that brought us together.
Santiago: Stop stop stop, weird weird weird.
Sargeant: It´s questions like that that made Van Gogh cut his own ear.
Captain: Don´t ever pa-pa-pa-pa-pap me again.
Peralta: It´s not what it seems like.
Diaz: It is.
Peralta: Ok, it is.
Santiago: Knock knock
Captain: You can knock with your hands, sayint it is stupid.
Brooklyn Nine Nine S01E05 – The Vulture
Charlie: It was like having sex with a Transformers
Peralta: It´s no one´s fantasy!
Peralta: I work better when I work alone… except during sex… actually sometimes even during sex.
Peralta: Charles, that is so dark! I´m putting it down.
Charlie: Yeah, winning by default. Like it!
Santiago: Have you ever met a human woman?
Peralta: Do you carry a hair dryer in your purse?
Gina: Of course, I´m not an animal
Gina: There´s someone called “The Vulture”? Tell Rosa about him, she surely be into him.
Charles: I don´t want to be the victim, I´m always the victim.
Peralta: Ok you are the door.
Charles: This is the proudest moment of my career.
Vulture: Keep up the bad work.
Vulture: Stay foxy
Santiago: Die slowly.
Peralta: Always take the high road, Charles.
Brooklyn Nine Nine S01E06 – Halloween
Amy Santiago: Halloween is the worst: Everyone´s drunk, wearing a mask and carrying a fake gun.
Plus all the girls think they have to dress sexy.
Jake Peralta: I know, that is the worst. Please make them stop.
Santiago: I passed a slutty tree on the way here. Who wants to have sex with a tree?
Scully: Was it a Maple?
Charles Boyle: I promise you´ll love it.
Santiago: Can you magically make everybody kind, sober and fully dressed.
Peralta: Kind, Sober and Fully Dressed. Good news everyone we found the name of Santiago´s sex tape.
Captain Holt: This will not interfere with your job?
Peralta: My job being an amazing detective / genius? Not at all.
Peralta: Alright, this is the robot I fell in love with.
Peralta: What does your face taste like?
Gina: Dina Lohan. I´m wearing her lotion.
Santiago: Halloween is Christmas for jerks.
Peralta: I laugh in the face of adversity.
Peralta: I can´t tell if that´s hot or not.
Santiago: Egg shells on my bra is not hot.
Peralta: I´m on the fence. Boobs go on bras.
Peralta: It´s just like in chess. Sometimes to win you have to sacrifice your king.
Captain Holt: That´s exactly how you lose.
Charles: You look like such a cop. Loosen up, have some fun. You have to blend in.
Charles: You can keep the wig. I don´t need it anymore.
Santiago: I don´t need it either.
Peralta: I forgot I was wearing handcuffs. Oh, that hurts.
Peralta: You always underestimate me.
Holt: No, I estimate you correctly.
Holt: I really think you need to learn to play chess.
Peralta: I´m sorry about tonight. We found the title for Santiago´s follow up sextape.
Peralta: It´s not your fault I was terrible is also the name of one of your sextapes.
What do you think of Brooklyn Nine Nine? Are you going to keep on watching? Follow me on Twitter for more scoop.