I started this article, but it turns out that there are so many good quotes on the show, that I had to divide the article in three parts. You can also see what I have done about the show in these special articles on Psych such as Shawn and Gus Nicknames, Psych Pop References from season 1, Psych Pop References from season 2, Psych Pop Reference from season 3, Psych Pop References in Season 4
And season five Part One:
Complete list of Psych Pop References and Quotes in Season five – part two
Psych S05E09 – One, Maybe Two, Ways Out:
Shawn: My spirit needs to remain unchained… like my melodies
Shawn: Drop that cone, Gus!
Gus: I´m not dropping my cone. I don´t wanna die on an empty stomach, Barry!
Shawn: Who is Barry?
Gus: I don´t know… what do we do when we get to the end of the pier
Shawn: Why don´t you ask Barry
Shawn: Dude, purple Octopus at twelve o´clock
Shawn: I see Stravinsky in the sky… possibly with diamonds
Shawn: You are missing the opportunity to jump right into a Bourne film.
Nadia: This is not a movie
Stravinsky: That door you went through, it´s customed, translation: not Home Depot
Shawn: I can find that spy in 13 hours
Driggs: I’ll find that spy in eight hours
Shawn: Find that spy
Shawn: Gus, don´t be Fine Young Cannibals version of Suspicious Minds
Shawn: Gus recently saw half of ‘Spies Like Us.
Gus: Doctor
Shawn: Doctor
Gus: Doctor
Shawn: Doctor
Shawn: I’m a psychic spy – maybe the only one – probably the only one – definitely the only non-Russian one, unless you count ‘Men Who Stare at Goats
Shawn: World doesn´t stop for the psychic thing. How do you think I get stuff done, or rent Kinky Boots at night?
Shawn: This is our chance to Bourne it up. I´m Matt Damon, you are Adewale Akinnuoye Agbajnan
Gus: I told you that newspaper thing was a dumb idea.
Shawn: Are you at all serious? We just captured a dangerous international spy and you’re hung up on the newspaper bit?
Gus: No. I’m hung up on the fact that you’ve been obsessed with this woman this whole time, she makes the ultimate move on you, and you shut her down. That makes no sense! Are you crazy?
Shawn: I know it doesn’t make any sense. Maybe I am crazy. All I can tell you is that… just now, in that moment, all I could think about was Jules. I just can’t wrap myself around the fact she’s dating Declan. Actually, it’s actually killing me.
Gus: Shawn, that is not fair.
Shawn: I know. I know it’s not fair. And you’re right. She likes this guy, who am I to stand in the way?
Gus: Exactly.
Shawn: You think I don’t want her to be happy? I want her to be happy. But—serious Shawn moment here—I want to be happy too, and for some reason I can’t imagine that happening without Juliet.
Shawn: To quote an unlikely source, Mr WIlliam Ocean, “when we go against tough, tough get going”
Gus: Or a satellite?
Shawn: Don´t make up crap from the future
Shawn: You look as good upside down, and that can only be said about you, me and maybe Javier Bardem
Nadia: No, not Javier Bardem. John Stewart
By the way this is the episode of the first Shawn and Jules kiss
Psych S05E10 – Extradition II: The Actual Extradition Part:
Shawn: Says who? The Sultan of Canada?
Gus: Have you been talking to him?
Shawn: I follow him on Twitter
Gus: Ok, you are freaking out about something. You were quiet the whole time, and you watched The Back Up Plan all the way through. Are you ok?
Shawn: I accidentally turned McNab and my father into confidents. It´s a weird day
Shawn: Gus, don’t be both Ashlee Simpson albums.
Gus: There were three Ashlee Simpson albums.
Shawn: That can’t possibly be true.
Gus: Autobiography, Bittersweet—
Shawn: I will not do this with you right now!
Gus: Well, get it right if you are going to criticize me
Gus: I will eat you in manageable, bite-sized pieces.
Mackintosh: His wife´s family is the Waffle people
Shawn: Gus, are you thinking what I´m thinking?
Gus: We need to try those waffles
Desperaux: Oh Camilla Parker Bowles, I´ve been set up
Shawn: This is Big Apple Mackintosh, and my partner Yasmine Bleeth
Gus: Do you Englishmen know the sock on the door rule
Desperaux: I´m going to hire you to prove my innocence
Gus: You can´t hire us, we are trying to catch you
Shawn: We have a lot of questions for you
Desperaux: Oh, fire away!
Gus: Exactly how do you pick a girl on prison?
Despereaux: Have you ever seen those Batman movies
Shawn: Where does he get those wonderful toys?
Jules: Some people don´t fit
Shawn: Yes, but that´s Lego people
Shawn: Can I just say what I… what I came here to say, please?
[Juliet sighs, turns to face Shawn]
Shawn: I have a motorcycle.
Jules: [frowns] Yes. You do.
Shawn: Yes, I do. And you know what? It is… it is the purest form of freedom that I have ever experienced. You zip through traffic, park anywhere, you never have to take anyone to the airport, you certainly don’t have to help anyone move. Easily the best purchase I’ve ever made in my life, and I have never regretted it, not for one second.
Jules: Great. You love your motorcycle. Is there a point to this?
Shawn: Yeah, there’s a point. The point is, since I met you, I… I’ve been thinking about getting a car.
[pause]
Jules: [smiles] And you’re not thinking something… practical or… sensible…
Shawn: Oh, God, no. I’m not throwing in the towel altogether.
[they kiss]
Juliet: You know what? Maybe now’s not the time; I have a flight in an hour.
Shawn: Wait a minute, I have a room! A really nice one. Paid for by a convicted criminal.
Juliet: Why do you tell me these things?
Shawn: Full disclosure!
Psych S05E11 – In Plain Fright:
Juliet: Eventually Carlton is going to find out about us.
Shawn: I’ve seen his detective skills. That could take years.
Juliet: So you told him about us?
Shawn: What are you kidding? That’d be like posting it on my Facebook page. If I had a Facebook page. Or the desire to share intimate life details with people I avoid on the street.
Jules: Eventually, Carlton is going to find out about us.
Shawn: I’ve seen his detective skills. That could take years.
Shawn: Oh, we could get the beans scared out of us by disgruntled teenagers in Michael Myers masks
Shawn: Try to understand, this is going to be like a bomb landing on his sweet head. It means he’s the odd man out again. If I don’t handle this delicately he’s bound to go on another caramel binge.
Juliet: He went on one before?
Shawn: Yes. Hot and cold.
Shawn: Dude. You, me, haunted house. Lets ride some rides.
Gus: Wait a second. We haven’t even had any churros yet. This year they’re wrapped in bacon.
Shawn: Didn’t we come here to be scared?
Gus: Exactly. What’s more scary than a churro wrapped in bacon?
Shawn: You are stalling
Gus: No, I´m not
Shawn: Dude, you’re not even looking.
Gus: I’m drinking it all in.
Shawn: You’re eyes are closed and you’re pretending to be startled by things.
Gus: I was just startled.
Shawn: By what, the exit light?
Shawn: Wait a minute. Gus, did you see that?
Gus: I was testing my watch to see if it really glowed in the dark.
Shawn: Gus, I just saw somebody get killed!
Shawn: You’re not listening. I saw a man gasping for his life.
Carol: You saw a volleyball on a broomstick.
Shawn: No! {beat} Yes, I saw that too. The illusion actually played. But this is something different.
Shawn: Listen— {he checks her phone} I am sure Todd is pretty dreamy, even though he can’t spell “bitchin’.” But I’m assuming that just like Heaven and Exhaling, he can wait.
Shawn: Ken!
Ken: No way.
Shawn: Yes way… in a big way. Can I have your keys?
Ken: What?
Shawn: I just saw a guy get killed.
Ken: Where?
Shawn: In the murder room at the haunted house.
Ken: Isn’t that what’s suppose to happen?
Shawn: Real guy, real murder.
Ken: Did you tell anyone?
Shawn: We told Carol. But she was so busy texting with Bad Grammar Todd that she didn’t care.
Gus: Will you let that go?
Shawn: “Bitchin'”, Gus. “Bit-Chin”. It’s the only word I insist people get right. Otherwise, you’re saying it’s bichin which is chinese for “too much face”. Isn’t that right, Ken?
Ken: Seriously, dude. I already told you last time: six words. Now why don’t you just go tell somebody else?
Shawn: We’re telling you, Ken, and you wanna know why? Because it’s high time we got the team back together, man. This is the type of big money case that will allow us to hire back our best Asian assistant ever. 3 Ninjas, Mega Mountain, reunited and it feels… so good.
Ken: I like that song.
Gus: Do you have any idea how dangerous this is? We’re gonna find a dead body, alright. Mine. Drug by one of these ride cars.
Shawn: You’ll be the first documented dragging death at three miles per hour.
Gus: Actually, I’ll be the third. In 1974, there was a guy—
Shawn: I can’t do this with you right now.
Shawn: What is Wonder Woman’s real name?
Shawn: We have a bona fide ‘Scooby Doo’ case that has fallen into our laps. Dead guy, haunted house, amusement park. Gus, say Zoinks
Gus: I´m not saying Zoinks, Shawn
Shawn: Say Jinkies
Gus: Jinkies
Gus: Have you seen Girl Interrupted?
Shawn: Gus, please. Have you seen Cuckoo´s Nest? or Crazy People?
Gus: Boat Trip?
Shawn: Boat Trip? The gay cruising film with Sanz and Cuba Gooding Jr? How does it play?
Gus: It doesn´t. I wanna see if someone else besides me watched it.
Shawn: I´ll push you through the window. I swear it has worked
Gus: Where? On ‘Winnie the Pooh’?!
Shawn: Clyde, Lugs and Pembrook. Johnny did kill Wayland
Gus: Shawn, did you just use Stroker Ace characters as an interjection?
Shawn: Now it´s more like the Say Say Say video
Gus: You’ve been after her for five years.
Eve: Five years?
Gus: He’s really not that smooth.
Shawn: Oh, I’m not that smooth? ‘Hey, heard about Pluto? That’s messed up, right?’ How many times has that landed?
Eve: Guys, guys!
Gus: That’s a player’s move, Shawn!
Shawn: It´s not a players´move, it´s like an astronomers´move
Gus: Wait a second, you’re mad at me for not being mad?
Shawn: I’m shocked at you for not being shocked!
Shawn: Jules, it was not easy, but I told Gus about us
Jules: How did he react?
Shawn: Shock and bewilderment – like the first six minutes of ‘Saving Private Ryan,’ followed by the last five minutes of ‘Lady in the Water.
Gus: Now it wasn´t. I told him I saw it coming like Lady in the water
Shawn: Sure, now you are going to tell us the same thing about Private Ryan?
Gus: Normandie Invasion? Yeah, I knew that one too.
Shawn: Liar
Gus: It´s a historical fact
Psych S05E12 – Dual Spires:
The episode is a tribute to “Twin Peaks”. Seven actors from “Twin Peaks” guest star and Julee Cruise who performed “Twin Peaks” theme song performs the “Psych” theme song for the episode. The plot is similar and the name of the town Dual Spires references Twin Peaks. The name Paula Merral is an anagram for Twin Peaks’ Laura Palmer, The soundtrack includes a song by Chris Isaak, who was an FBI agent in “Fire Walk With Me”.
Shawn: Dude, do you know they make silent window shades? Some woman in Washington invented them back in the early-90s.
Gus: Since when is the sound of opening and closing shades so disruptive that it needs to be alleviated
Shawn: Why do have to hate on other people’s triumphs of innovation.
Gus: Weird.
Shawn: It’s not weird, it’s selfish. And more than a little petty.
Gus: No, not that. Come take a look at this.
Shawn: Man, this better not be another auction for one of Stoney Jackson’s neckerchiefs.
Shawn: Well look up this town Dual Spires. I mean how can there be a Cinnamon Festival that we’ve never heard of? {looking at the map} Zoom in.
Gus: Dude. This town is so small that it’s in parentheses. How the heck did we get this email?
Shawn: It’s a delicious mystery.
Shawn checking his schedule: I’m good ’til next Wrestlemania.
Shawn: Wow, everyone looks so happy. And yet so perplexed.
Gus: Something’s off about this place, Shawn. People keep looking like I’m the first black man they’ve seen.
Shawn: Come on, Gus. Don’t be absurd.
Girl on Bike: Hey Mister. Are you Frederick Douglass?
Gus: Shawn. We need to get out of here.
Bob Barker: Just passing through?
Shawn: We’re here for the festival. We take our cinnamon very seriously.
Sheriff Andrew Jackson (Lenny von Dohlen): We don’t have the internet in Dual Spires. It’s simpler that way.
Shawn: Dude, we’re doing Witness.
Gus: They were Amish.
Shawn: Not Danny Glover, he was black.
Gus: What are you talking about?
Gus: That owl is made entirely out of cinnamon!
Shawn: Which means it is both wise and delicious.
Gus: Mrs. Barker, is everything okay?
Michelle Barker (Robyn Lively): No. Everything is not okay.
Bob: Michelle.
Michelle: What? I can’t just sit here, and pretend to be excited about churros, and Leo the Cinnamon Owl.
Shawn: I sense someone is missing.
Bob: Our niece, Paula. She’s been gone about a day and a half.
Shawn: Mr. and Mrs. Barker, I have a confession to make. I’m not just a cinnamon enthusiast. I’m also a psychic detective. And this is my partner, Lodge Blackman.
Shawn and Gus interview a suspect named “Randy Jackson” about the death of a girl named “Paula.”
Shawn: Come on, dude.
Gus: You know I’m a sympathetic cryer, Shawn. Just leave me be.
“Who killed Paula Merral?”
Shawn: Gus, we weren’t called here for a cinnamon festival. {he shows him the email}
Gus: Shawn, we have reached a new low point in our life.
Shawn: Are you kidding me? It’s like Driving Miss Daisy. Except you get to be Miss Daisy.
Gus: I don’t want to be in the movie, Shawn.
Shawn: Oh Sheriff. Didn’t expect to see you here.
Sheriff Andrew Jackson: I live here. What do you mean?
Shawn: Of course you do. You’re Randy’s father. Yes, wow. You guys have Bob Barker, Doc Gooden, and Randy Jackson, all living in the same inlet town with no cars, cell phones, or internet.
Gus: Shawn, we need to pitch this to Mark Burnett!
Randy: Who are you?
Shawn: A couple of guys with a passion for the truth.
Gus: And cinnamon.
Shawn: I get it. It’s Pretty In Pink. You’re Andrew McCarthy.
Randy: Who’s Andrew McCarthy?
Shawn: That’s fair.
Maudette: Isn’t cherry the best?
Gus: Best what?
Maudette: Everything, silly.
Maudette Hornsby (Sherilyn Fenn): I thought you were a psychic.
Shawn: I am. But how did you know that?
Maudette: Word travels. You know we don’t get a lot of gossip around here, so untimely death, a psychic and a black man all in one day? Epic.
Shawn: I really thought we were being discreet.
Gus: You do know what discreet means, don’t you? That’s a serious question.
Gus: A girl drowns, gets reincarnated and then drowns seven years later? Worst Cinnamon Festival ever.
Lassiter: What are you staring at, Jesup?
Bob: You two understand, right?
Shawn: We’re not here to judge you, Mr. Barker. We came to investigate, catch bad guys and eat pie.
Gus: Not necessarily in that order.
Shawn: And it hasn’t been.
Gus: No.
Shawn: We started with the pie.
Gus: Always.
Shawn: Every teenager has a secret spot, Gus. Remember when I found those weird photos of John Cusack in your night stand?
Gus: That was Joan.
Shawn: Really? That’s much less weird. Wait. No, it’s not. Not really.
Shawn: Gus was wondering if you would like to be his date to Betty Boop night at the road house.
Gus: They don’t have a Betty Boop night in the road house.
Shawn: Oh, then they don’t have my business anymore, either.
Maudette: Sure you can keep up with me? I like to dance *all* night long.
Shawn about Jack: Jon Cryer in Pretty In Pink.
Gus: Nobody in this town has ever seen that movie, Shawn.
Shawn: Well I refuse to accept that.
Shawn: So do you think this guy killed Paula?
Gus: Most definitely. He’s a freaky dude living in a freaky place, and you notice he won’t ever make eye contact with you? There’s only one reason for that: guilt.
Shawn: Actually, there may be another.
Jack Smith: …and then jet blackness.
Gus: What does that mean?
Shawn: Great porn name for you.
Shawn: Really? You are jealous of the goofy guy who takes photos like Jose Feliciano?
Randy: Hey, she always had a thing for him
Shawn: For Jose Feliciano?
Randy: No, Jack.
Shawn: What is it about all the secret relationships in this town? It’s like General Hospital. {Jack looks lost… more lost} You’re kidding me. Alright, that’s it. Is there a film or a television series that you people actually saw?
Jack: The town gets together every Thursday night to watch reruns of Everwood.
Shawn: Okay. I can work with that.
Shawn: Just like Treat Williams character on Everwood never got to say goodbye to his wife
Gus: Shawn!
Shawn: We are onto you Randy, just as the people from Everwood was onto the fact that Nina was a surrogate mother
Gus: Shawn, will you stop it?
Shawn: What exactly constitutes the difference between alter boy Gus and degenerate Gus?
Gus: If we leave now I’ll let you play the theme to Weird Science over and over in the car. What do you say?
Gus: Shawn, we’re gonna die in this tiny stupid room!
Shawn: Don’t be the scream from Holding Back the Years. You’re right though, this could be it for us.
Gus: Father Westley! Thank God you were here. Literally.
Shawn: We were about to be wicker men. How did you find us?
Father Westley: I just had faith.
Shawn: Really?
Father Westley: No.
Sheriff Jackson: Her death—though tragic—saves our future.
Bob: You killed a little girl.
Gus: Um. What about us?
Dr. Gooden: Honestly? Far less tragic. We barely know you.
Shawn: It’s nice to finally have some alone time.
Juliet: It is. But you know we’re not really alone, Shawn.
Father Westley: You were not lying about the pie, Burton. It’s heavenly.
Gus: Right? Now we’re on to Ecclesiastes.
Father Westley: One of my favorites.
Shawn: We couldn’t blow off a priest. I’m pretty sure that’s a sin.
Juliet: Well, it’s not so much Gus and Father Westley. And Carlton…
Lassiter doing a great Agent Cooper: That’s a damn fine cup of cider.
Juliet: It’s the other people.
What did you think about the complete list of Pop Reference Quotes on Psych fifth season? Let me know in the comments section. And also, check Part Three.
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