Psych-quotes-pop-references-season-fiveI started this article, but it turns out that there are so many good quotes on the show, that I had to divide the article in three parts. You can also see what I have done about the show in these special articles on Psych such as Shawn and Gus Nicknames, Psych Pop References from season 1, Psych Pop References from season 2, Psych Pop Reference from season 3, Psych Pop References in Season 4

And season five Part One and Part Two:

Complete list of Psych Pop References and Quotes in Season five – part two

Psych S05E13 – We´d like to thank the Academy:

Shawn: Lassie! We totally caught the bad guys.
Lassiter: Yeah. What do you think you’re doing crashing a stakeout?
Shawn: You’re welcome.

Gus: Do you think the chief called us in to congratulate us on our bust yesterday?
Shawn: Most definitely. I’m also assuming that there will be an award involved.
Gus: A busty.
Shawn: I was thinking Lifetime Achievement. Busties usually go to strippers or sculptors. Lionel Ritchie has one.

Henry: He was setting up a sting, Shawn. Do you have any idea what that involves?
Shawn: Newman. Redford. The lettuce. The ponies.
Chief Vick: Wireptaps, search warrants. Surveillance teams. All of which take time.
Shawn: That sounds like something for you to worry about. What we like to do is come up with a solution. And make it happen.
Gus: Not always in that order.

Shawn: In the end we always come through.
Gus: Just like the chairman of the Federal Reserve.

Shawn: We’ll dust off our ‘CHiPs’ DVDs and meet you back here on Monday morning.
Gus: Best homework ever

Shawn: We make funny sound effects with our mouths, stay on Bubba Smith’s good side

Shawn: You just tell me where and when; this is a Rebecca Lobo thing

Shawn makes a couple of “Karate Kid” references while talking to Nick (Ralph Macchio), including referring to him as “sensei” and telling him not to “wax on” about his problems. Macchio played the title role in “The Karate Kid.”

Gus: Said the guy who cried this morning during a commercial
Shawn: They were abused puppies during a Sarah Mac Lachlan song… I´m not a robot

When Shawn explains the shooting of the innocent women cardboards, he does it Men in Black style

Shawn: And injury-free since June, when Gus broke his finger flipping the injury countdown calendar.

Nick: Is it clear?
Shawn: Yes sensei

Shawn: Seriously. For the ten hours or so that we retain the stuff that you’ve taught us, you made a real difference, Nick.
Conforth: I am twice the cop that he is.
Shawn: Well don’t just stand there and wax on about it.

Lassiter: You couldn’t beat me on the field, so now you’re going to try to beat me off?
Shawn: You might want to think about rephrasing that.

Lassiter: I have an educated guess…that’s 100% accurate. Officer Conforth here froze like the North Pole, because when some men look danger in the eye they blink…repeatedly…like they’re staring into the sun.

Shawn: Dude, it´s Walter Matthau he “also played roles in ‘The Bad News Bears,’ “The Odd Couple,’ and ‘Grumpy Old Men.

Juliet: [teaching the PIT maneuver] Mr. Spencer, a word.
Gus: I think you might be in trouble with the teacher.
Shawn: I sure hope so.

Shawn: Dude, this is so Top Gun. I’m Cruise, she’s McGillis, you’re Sundown.
Gus: Why can’t I be the Goose?
Shawn: You know why.
Gus: Stop hypothetically typecasting me, Shawn.

Shawn: Sundown, we’re in.
Gus: I’m Goose, Shawn. The black Goose.
Shawn: That has no ring to it at all.

Shawn: Somebody made him up, like Kelly LeBrock in ‘Weird Science, only without the incredible bossom

Shawn: Maverick to Charlie, over

Gus: I don´t know if it´s the uniform, but I´ve never craved doughnuts more

Shawn: Well, I’m tight with Chris, and Figs loves Dickie.
Gus: What?!?

Gus: Look, we can catch the guys responsible for those robberies.
Conforth: Good. You guys go. I’ll just screw it up.
Shawn: I can not believe what I’m hearing. Do you know what the Nick Conforth we know would be doing right now?
Conforth: No.
Shawn: Well, neither do we really, because our whole relationship only spans about a day.

Shawn: Dickey, what happened?
Dickie: Some guy that looks like a fabulous Emmitt Smith just kidnapped my friend.
Shawn: Devry.

Shawn: We won’t let you down, Chief.
Chief Vick: Yes you will. Now, hand over your cadet badge.
Shawn: Gladly. {checking his pockets} I must have, ah… slung it in one of these side babies here just right in there for safe… Boy, I really do have a problem.

Shawn: You do realize this is the end of True Romance.
Gus: That was a massacre, Shawn. Everybody died.
Shawn: That’s not true. Christian Slater and Patricia Arquette made it out.
Dickie: And Michael Rappaport.
Shawn: Good point, Dickie. I forgot about that.

Longsdale: We gonna find these guys, get my money, and shoot them in their faces, like Marvin in ‘Pulp Fiction’ – except we gonna do it on purpose!

Shawn: We have Jacke Earle Haley on steroids carrying a gun

Shawn: Dude, what was that?
Gus: It’s me!
Shawn: Are you kidding me? You’ve achieved pitch-perfect AK-47 mouth action.
Gus: I know! I’ve been practicing!
Shawn: Air bump.

Shawn: That´s an exact replica of Kelly McGillis jacket in Top Gun
Jules: I can wear it tonight
Shawn: How about if I wear it tonight? … that´s weird
Jules: Yeah
Shawn: You wear  it tonight
Jules: I´ll wear it

Psych S05E14 – The Polarizing Express:

Title is a reference to Polar Express

You can see The Grinch several times in the episode

Katie: KSRP23 has obtained the video footage that lead to the mistrial.
News Anchor: Thanks for that report, Katie. The person seen in the video conducting that unauthorized search is one Shawn Spencer, a psychic consultant for the Santa Barbara police department.

Gus: I told you not to go into that building without the police but you never listen to me. Ever. Now they look like amateurs and Psych might be finished.
Shawn: Gus, don’t be the way Eriq La Salle spells “Eriq.” You know I would never go snooping around without checking for security cameras. They must have been hidden.

Lassiter: And when I say I, I mean a fake imaginary police officer played by Powers Booth

Shawn: I was up late because I was watching Bad Santa, the unrated version; and the I watched the first Austin Powers and I watched back to back episodes of Jake in Progress which is a misleading title, because Jake always makes the same mistakes.

Chief Vick: I have been given an ultimatum by the Mayor. And as a result this department has decided to take preemptive action.
Shawn: About time I was issued a weapon.
Chief Vick: I’m placing you on suspension. Indefinitely.
Shawn: Indefinitely? Well make up your mind, Chief. Am I suspended or not?
Henry: You made your bed, kid.
Shawn: I haven’t made my bed in fifteen years.
Chief Vick: In addition, Internal Affairs is gonna want to speak with you so I’d advise you not to leave town.
Henry: I’ve been telling you all along. Your blatant disregard for protocol, your reckless police work, it was bound to happen—
Chief Vick: Furthermore, I’ve notified the Mayor that as a result of you failing to contrl your special consultant, your position is being dissolved. Effective immediately.
Henry: Meaning what, Karen?
Chief Vick: Your services are no longer required.
Henry: What exactly are you trying to say?
Chief Vick: You’re fired, Henry.

Henry: I’m just so tired of the grind. You and me, spinning our wheels, going in opposite directions. I can’t help but wonder what our lives might have been like if you’d just stayed wherever the hell you were and not come back to Santa Barbara five years ago.
Shawn: Wow. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I shouldn’t have come back.

Shawn: Hey, I know you. You are Tony Cox, You are Marcus from Bad Santa. You are awesome.

Shawn: I have seen Friday 79 times. Willow, remember that? You little warrior… Disaster Movie? Check. I am one of your biggest fans

Tony Cox: The bottom line is, it’s snowing styrofoam and I’m stuck here.
Shawn: Why?
Tony Cox: Because I’m your super-ego.
Shawn: No kidding. Boy, I wish I could show you to all the people that said I should be more humble.

Shawn: I get it. I´m dreaming! In that case, wanna hop into a bathtub with Paula Patton?

Tony Cox: You’re supposed to go on a journey of self-discovery, fool. Now let’s do this.

Tony Cox: Paul Bunyan, really?
Shawn: Look, I´m trying to avoid all kinds of stereotypes here. Would you prefer Kareem Abdul Jabbar?

Shawn: Oh my god. My dad turned into Nick Nolte.

Shawn: Who’s next?
It’s Gus. Now his Old Lady has a kid from a different baby daddy. His alocholic mother-in-law lives with them too. And I’m pretty sure they live next door to Edie McClurg.
Shawn: That sounds like a UPN sitcom from the mid-nineties.

Stranjay: Give your daddy a fist bump.
Anfernee: He ain’t my daddy!
Stranjay: What’s happening, Anfernee?
Anfernee: You ain’t my daddy.
Shawn: Is that all he says?
Tony Cox: This season. Lat year was, “Sniff this, unit.”

Shawn: Here’s the weird thing. I think this is a rerun.

Shawn: Wow. This is really horrible. Gus is so underappreciated around here.
Tony Cox: Bingo. Now you’re getting it. You’re imagination is dark and ridiculous, but at least the message is buried in there somewhere.
Shawn: Oh you mean that everyone would be miserable if I hadn’t come back to Santa Barbara? I could have told you that.
Tony Cox: Boy are you in for a surprise.

In SBPD the policemen are all like Minority Report

Shawn: Why does Chief Vick speaks with a German accent?
Tony Cox: Because you watched Austin Powers last night and you have a thing for Frau Farbissina and now, so do I

Shawn: Jules, this is so hot. You’re like Heather Locklear in T.J. Hooker. Which means he’s Adrian Zmed. Wait a minute. Are you dating Dwyane Wade? That doesn’t even make sense. He’s dating Gabrielle Union.

Shawn: I need to wake up.
Tony Cox: Not until you learn your lesson.
Shawn: I did. I learned how important I am to everyone.
Tony Cox: This isn’t about them. haven’t you seen It’s a Wonderful Life?
Shawn: No. I can’t do black and white.
Tony Cox: How about a Christmas Carol?
Shawn: I can’t do subtitles. You know what I did see? Elf. How come you’re not in that movie?
Tony Cox: It’s not about me or which movies I should have gotten over Dinklage.

Young Gus: You were doing just fine until Frodo Jenkins here came

Shawn: Oh Brown Snowman Gus. I think I’ll miss you most of all.

Shawn: Of all the relationships in my life, ours is easily the most stable and the only one I haven’t screwed up. If I hadn’t come back to Santa Barbara, I don’t know what you’d be doing, but wherever I was I’d be wishing I had you there to lean on.

Shawn: Where do you think the Super Sniffer ranks among other hero’s powers?
Gus: Below X-ray vision and weather control, but definitely better than anything Robin brings to the table.
Shawn: Which is nothing.
Gus: Exactly.
Shawn: He is a liability
Gus: So is Batgirl.

Gus: So what’s our move?
Shawn: Brace yourself, Gus. We’re going to have to play by the book. It’ll be difficult, but I’m gonna help you through it.
Gus: I always play by the book.

Shawn: Brace yourself, Gus, we’re going to have to play by the book. It will be difficult but I’m going to help you through it.
Gus: I always play by the book.
Shawn: I know. We are going to use impulse control. Which is the practice of controlling one’s impulses. For instance I look down and see that roach there, and I tell myself, I can’t eat that.
Gus: Do I need to slap you in the face?
Shawn: Let’s focus. We’re going to bring the police in on this lead before we do anything else.
Gus: What are you staring at?
Shawn: I’m telling myself, I can’t squeeze your sweet sweet head.

Shawn: Is it area codes or state capitols that you’re all Rain Man-y with?
Gus: I’m Rain Man with area codes. With state capitols I’m more like John Nash.
Shawn: The dude from Clean House?
Gus: That’s Niecy Nash, Shawn. And she’s a fine, full-bodied woman.

Shawn: You know they say the wormwood in absinthe makes your shadow glow. We should do shots and then play laser tag.
Gus: Shawn, you need to try to take a nap. You look tired.
Shawn: Gus, don’t be Keith Sweat now. I’m sharp as a tack.

Shawn: Kareem, you took out your glasses

Shawn: I loved you in Y tu Mamá También

Shawn:I apologize to cockroaches everywhere. Especially Jiminy Cricket. Although for the first time in over thirty years it occurs to me, he might be a cricket.
Gus: Of course he’s a cricket.

Shawn: I was so far off with the bomb. Turns out Juan was counting down the time to tonight´s season premiere of True Blood
Gus: Sookie!

Shawn: He´s kinda being a different man since started working here, I mean he still watches reruns of The Rifle Man…

Psych S05E15 – Dead Bear Walking:

Title reference to Dead Man Walking

Lassiter: How did you find out about this?
Gus: Well, first of all, Gus follows a lot of Zebras on Twitter, and his phone is filled with Tweets, and I follow exotic birds, who are actually tweeting.

Shawn: That Polar Bear did not commit crime, it was framed

Shawn: You can´t convict without motive
Gus: I have motive, the Bear went Bear
Shawn: You are not helping

Shawn: Did you see any Coca Colas, or a sled? I believe this is what it´s using for nourishment, and transportation. And anybody see a red scarf, or heared the sound “Wheee”?

Gus: I don´t even like bears in fables, Shawn. Goldie Locks was a crazy blonde shortie for going into that house in the first place

Shawn: He knows bears even the ones that are ‘bad news

Gus: Are we really doing this?
Shawn: Look I called Benihana, and they said they couldn´t accommodate a table for two and an 800 pounds polar bear

Juliet: Where’s the bear, Shawn?
Shawn: What could possibly make you think I know where the bear is?
Juliet: One, because someone called in a tip about a tiny blue car pulling a huge trailer down Mariposa. Two, because I’m dating you and I know when you’re lying. And three, there were like three hundred packets of tartar sauce on the front step.
Shawn: I appreciate your concern. I’m going to start watching my cholesterol.

Juliet: Shawn, just so you know, if you go to prison I will not wait for you!
Shawn: You won’t have to. I’ll escape; we both know that.

Gus: This bear is scheduled to be executed. It´s like it´s on dead row
Shawn: Which makes me Susan Sarandon, you Robert Prosky and the bear, Sean Penn. Now I’m thinking about the bear playing Harvey Milk
Gus: I´d watch that movie

Shawn: When you first moved to this neighborhood, where you being harrassed on account of being so famous? Oh, you are not Seth Rogen?

Shawn: Zack and Miri make a porno? Goodbye Seth

Lassiter: (To Gus) Are you sniffing my sister?

Shawn:I want to be played by Cilliam Murphy, because it´s unexpected, it´s odd. Obviously Stoney Jackson will play Gus, Fyvush Finkel will play my father

Shawn: Judge Judy… Line!

Lassiter: You were at war with each other
Shawn: Like Belushi and Aykroyd
Lassiter: Yes, in Trading Places
Shawn: Neighbors
Lassiter: I gave it a shot

Psych S05E16 – Yang 3 in 2D:

Shawn: I would choose my shooters personally: George Carlin, Abbot or Costello, whichever the fat one was, Richard Pryor, Adam Brody, all the comedy greats, how funny would it be?
Gus: It wouldn´t be, You´d be dead
Shawn: Why do you have to take it to a dark place

Shawn: Seriously? Stained-glass tulips? I would’ve done something with Kristy Swanson’s character from ‘Higher Learning

Henry: I hope the He-Man sheets are acceptable

Yang: Me hosting ‘The View’ and making out with Elisabeth Hasselbeck is impossible; *this* is not!

Yang: Otherwise, I´m late for the afternoon movie, they are screening Carbon Copy, I can´t resist a young Susan Saint James

Gus: What does Lassie think this is? Shutter Island?
Shawn: Either that or Tootsie

Henry: Go back in time and sense the way things were
Shawn: What does this possibly have to do with Barbra Streisand?

Shawn: Meat Is Murder by The Smiths; 1984, Van Halen; both missing.
Juliet: Are you sure?
Shawn: Of course I’m sure; they’re clearly in order.
Juliet: Tears for Fears, Depeche Mode, Thompson Twins. What order were you using?
Shawn: Sweetness.
Juliet: Men Without Hats is sweeter than Echo & the Bunnymen?
Mr. Yang: More importantly, where are Devo and Talking Heads in all of this?

Student: Save Ferris, Save Ferris

Lassiter: such a blatant rip-off of ‘Se7en
Gus: We´ve been lucky. Could´ve been the head of Gwyneth Paltrow

Mary: What is the deal with ‘One Tree Hill’?! I don´t understand. It’s like a poorly executed ‘Dawson’s Creek’! And don´t get me started on Chad Michael Murray

Mary: I think CGI has ruined movie storytelling for all of us. I don´t think it´s Michael Bay´s fault, but we need to stop him, because he´s ruining it for everybody

Shawn: when did you see the chimp from ‘Monkey Shines?

Mr Yin: Last Kiss” syringe contains “just a shake – not stirred – of boat cleaner

Gus: With a grin on your face because you just remembered that stupid scene from ‘Summer School,’ where the students all pretend to be dead

Gus: We’d just appreciate a little closure before we say goodbye to Grover’s Corners for the last time, Shawn: What is that – a ‘Sesame Street’ reference?

Mr Yin: Very good Don Cheadle Junior

Shawn: I bet you are so text book. Over bearing mommy locked you in the closet? huh? Disected small animals when you were a kid? Memorized episodes from Perfect Strangers, line by line?

Gus: She is gonna haunt me in my dreams, Shawn, and not in a good way… Well…
Shawn: Gus

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