Ok, We selected the best quotes from Barney Stinson already. Now it´s time for another of the greatest characters on TV: Scrubs Dr Perry Cox
And we selected the Best Quotes from Dr Perry Cox on Scrubs
Hope you like them.
Best Quotes from Dr Perry Cox on Scrubs
“Scrubs: My New God (#5.5)” (2006)
Dr. Cox: Remind me again, why are you having our son babtised?
Jordan: Oh what do you care? You’re not even going!
Dr. Cox: Fine, let him go to chruch. I mean i let him go to magic shows. I’ll just tell him it’s all a lie when he gets home, so he doesn’t have any of those crazy nightmares
Jordan: By the way, i invited your sister
Dr. Cox: Oh Jordan please tell me you didn’t!
Jordan: Oh i’m sorry sweetie. I don’t think she’d be so upset. I’ll call her and tell her not to come.
[starts laughing]
Jordan: How weird would it be if i was like that?
J.D.: When is this joy assescation?
Dr. Cox: You’re not invited
J.D.: Oh i see, family only everyone. That’s how they’re doing it
Carla: I’m going
Dr. Cox: Newbie, give me a break of course you’re going! For the matter of fact, i’d like you to be the boys godfather
J.D.: [whispering] I… am… honored!
Dr. Cox: [whispering] I… am lying
Dr. Cox: Everyone! This is my sister Paige. Paige I’d like you to meet random people I don’t care about
J.D.: Hi I’m JD! I’m sure Perry has spoken of me
Paige: No
J.D.: Nothing about taking a taunted go getter under his wig or being surrogate father to a boy who lost his one? Nothing about that at all? I’m surprised. It’s interesting for me, but okay!
[thinking]
J.D.: Don’t cry in front of people
Paige: Perry and I don’t talk much
J.D.: Ohhh they don’t talk much everybody! There’s not much talking in the family.
Dr. Cox: Rest assured, Newbie. Even if we did talk from morning till night about all the big and tiny things that matter most to me. The big being my son Jack, a cure for cancer and the resurgence of the hard-shelled taco; the small…
Paige: [copying Cox] The small being my ex-wife Jordan, wind energy and a-ha-hall fruit-infused liquors… your name still would not have come up.
Paige: You know what used to drive Perry nuts as a kid? Every night we’d play horse in the driveway and i’d always kick his ass
J.D.: Can Christians say ass now? I have a friend, Pat Casey, he called his mum an ass once. She hit him in the face with an iron. He still goes to church, but he can’t whistle anymore
Paige: Okay, i need to go say hi to Jordan
[she walks off. Cox arrives as soon as Paige is gone]
J.D.: She’s dynamite. How’d you end up with a born again Christian sister?
Dr. Cox: I don’t know. Maybe the TV was broken one day and she picked up the bible and found it to be just a darn good read. Or, maybe it had something to do with out mothers ability to watch silently as our dad drunkenly knocked us from room to room. What do you think Newbie?
J.D.: Probably the room to room thing
J.D.: Dr. Cox! If it makes you feel any better, at the baptism I’ll be there to keep Paige company
Dr. Cox: Yeah. You’re not going
J.D.: Dammit! Stupid baptism.
J.D.: Morning, sunshine!
Dr. Cox: Never say that again
J.D.: Noted. That was quite a fight you had with your sister yesterday. Won’t it be a little awkward when you show up at St. Mary’s Cathedral on the corner of Maple and Pine, right across from Temple Oheb Shalom, at 4 P.M. today?
Dr. Cox: That’s not where the baptism is, but nice try.
J.D.: Mark my words… when that little bastard’s dipped in water, I will be there.
Dr. Cox: Anyway, I just invited Paige to come by. Mr. Donnelly’s labs came back and it looks like the steroid is finally working. If you happen to be keeping score at home, that would be Medicine, One -God, Zero.
J.D.: Ah, you don’t have to rub it in her face.
Dr. Cox: Yeah, and I don’t have to stick Kelso’s stethoscope down my pants every morning, but I still do. Now isn’t there some other relationship you could be out there trying to fix?
Dr. Cox: Could I comment on the baptism dress?
Paige: I think you should wait to see the matching slippers and tiny handbag
Dr. Cox: You’re actually encouraging him to cross-dress on the same day that you’re introducing him to a religion that will condemn him to Hell for it. That’s a trauma twofer.
Jordan: Can you two please just try to get along? Now I’m getting some blush for Jack, because this lace collar is washing out his face. Terrible.
Dr. Cox: Paige, will you just acknowledge that medicine made Mr. Donnelly better?
Paige: Fine. It was medicine.
Dr. Cox: Aha
Paige: Thank God for creating medicine
Dr. Cox: [Flipping out] A-ghe-de-geh-geh-geh!
[Stands]
Dr. Cox: That’s it! That is it.
[Grabs Jack, who begins giggling wildly]
Dr. Cox: Now you, you may be a total goner, but God’s not getting his hands on this one. No way, no how. Come on, Jackie boy, we got places to go.
J.D.: You can rub mine’s belly if I can rub yours’.
Dr. Cox: Don’t you touch my son
Dr. Cox: There will be no whining or crying while we sit here, understood?
J.D.: [Stroking Jack's hair] He seems fine.
Dr. Cox: I wasn’t talking to him.
J.D.: I don’t whine or cry.
Janitor: Really? Then how do you explain these photos of you whining and crying as you run away from the Kwans’ apartment?
J.D.: These are coasters.
Janitor: My camera’s broken.
Dr. Cox: You know what, there, Newbie? You can go to the baptism. Now take Jack; Jordan’ll kill me if he’s not there. Plus, I know you – you’re exactly one watered-down appletini away from trying to fix my sister and me.
J.D.: No, thank you. If there’s one thing I learned from this guy
[gestures at the Janitor]
J.D.: , it’s I need to stop trying to fix people’s relationships.
Janitor: You’re welcome
J.D.: Still, I’ve never known you to judge a person based on their beliefs. In fact, you’re pretty tolerant of everyone. Except Hugh Jackman
Dr. Cox: Meh
J.D.: I just don’t understand why your sister being religious bothers you so much
Dr. Cox: It doesn’t
J.D.: Then why are you so angry?
Dr. Cox: It’s not the God stuff.
[Faces her seriously]
Dr. Cox: I have worked hard to try to forget everything about our childhood. But when I see you, I… I can’t think about anything else.
Paige: It’s hard for me, too.
Dr. Cox: But I don’t see why you can’t be there for the major events in Jack’s life
Paige: I’d love to see him turn three
Dr. Cox: The *major* events, Paige: His graduation, his wedding, his divorce, and his funeral… the Big Four
Paige: I beat you at Horse, he has a church wedding
Dr. Cox: Done
Dr. Cox: You know, Paige is a silly name.
Paige: Perry’s worse
“Scrubs: My New Game (#4.3)” (2004)
Jordan: Have a good day. Try not to torture anyone so much that they take their own lives.
Dr. Cox: I’ll try. You know, you’re not looking as processed and overly-medicated as usual.
Jordan: That is so sweet!
Dr. Cox: Don’t tell me – you and Sweaty Teddy here are gonna finally have that commitment ceremony you’ve been dreaming about?
Dr. Kelso: Perry, even if I went that way – and believe me, there were nights in the service when it didn’t sound so far-fetched – Ted is hardly my type.
Ted Buckland: I beg to differ, I’ve seen Enid.
Carla: Miss Myers is ready to have her bandages removed now.
Dr. Cox: Who do you mean, dashboard-face?
Carla: Yeah, I think she prefers “Miss Myers.”
Dr. Cox: Well then she probably shouldn’t be checking her e-mail while she’s driving ninety miles an hour.
Dr. Cox: You know what? I’ve got a son, I don’t fantasize about Jordan dying as much anymore, and, even though it wasn’t planned, I’m actually pretty happy about the way this whole marriage thing has worked out. Sooo, would you please stop your chirping and step away from my personal life?
Dr. Clock: So what’s his wife like?
Carla: So scary!
Dr. Cox: There’s no way in hell that I’m gonna listen to you complain about the rest of your life for the rest of my life, you got that?
Jordan: Yeah, not listening. By the way, now that we’re married again, we’ve gotta make out new wills in case one of us dies.
Dr. Cox: Oh, God, I hope it’s me.
Dr. Cox: Mm-hm. Why don’t you just…
Dr. Clock: Mind my own business. I know, your life is your life, and it’s not my job to fix it, unless of course you ask me to. And, man, would I get in there, ’cause I’m a good shrink and you, my friend, are a walking disaster. Shall we?
Dr. Cox: Yeah, I make it a point to never enter a shrink’s office unless I’m planning on grossly overpaying somebody for telling me something that I already know.
Dr. Clock: Look, you’re obviously really distracted by the situation with your marriage…
Dr. Cox: Something I already know, what do I owe? Will ten bucks cover it?
Dr. Cox: Jordan! Will you… will you divorce me?
Jordan: Ohh, I thought you’d never ask!
“Scrubs: My Half-Acre (#5.9)” (2006)
J.D.: I know I haven’t hit it in a white, but there’s good reasons for that
Dr. Cox: Two good reasons: his face and his personality.
J.D.: Sticks and stones may break my bones…
[thinking]
J.D.: But words will hurt forever
Jordan: Will you say good bye to Jack before I drop him off at preschool?
Dr. Cox: [pets his sons head] Bye, little man.
Jordan: Perry, this is your son, not a pitbull. Give him a kiss.
Dr. Cox: Jordan, he’s starting to look like a guy. And I’m just not real big on kissing guys. I mean, when my father wanted to show me affection he would just purposely miss when he threw bottles at my head.
Jordan: You are gonna be a much better dad than your dad was. Now give him a proper goodbye!
Dr. Cox: [shakes Jack's hand] Son, always a pleasure. No more kissing!
[Cox walks off]
Jordan: You’re crazy!
Carla: I don’t understand, why wouldn’t you kiss him?
Dr. Cox: [singing voice] Stay out of it, Carla!
Mrs. Wilk: Stay out of what?
Carla: Dr. Cox won’t kiss his son.
Mrs. Wilk: What is wrong with you?
Dr. Cox: Ladies, I hate to disappoint but my quota for women who bug the living bejeezus out of me has been met for the next billion years.
Carla: I think he described all the extra effort he put in so you would tell him what an amazing doctor he is.
Mrs. Wilk: Now that you’ve told me it won’t sound sincere.
Carla: He won’t care.
Mrs. Wilk: Dr Cox, you’re amazing.
Dr. Cox: It’s just my job.
Lonnie: Dr. Cox, would you help me with a centeral line.
Dr. Cox: Fine, Lonnie. But hand to God, if you so much as look at me for the next month I will mummify your head in surgical tape.
Lonnie: Thank you Dr. Cox!
[looks away]
Lonnie: Is he gone? No? Hello?
Patient: I’m a Jehova’s Witness, I can’t get a transfusion. We believe that blood should not be passed from person to person
Dr. Cox: Well I’m a doctor and we believe that without surgery a patient in your condition can suffer from a major case of deadness.
Carla: Don’t worry, he will figure out another way to treat you
Dr. Cox: [laughing as he walks off] Hehehe! No he won’t!
Carla: So what’s the deal, cranky pants?
Dr. Cox: I’m just sick and tired of having to living up to everybody’s expectations. Lonnie needs a central line, you want me to help Mrs London and every patient in this dump looks at me for some miracle cure. I mean honestly Carla, with Jehovah as my witness, sometimes it is just too much.
Carla: Yeah, I’m not buying it. You’ve been putting up with this stuff around here for over 20 years.
Dr. Cox: Not just here; at home too. Jordan expects me to be this amazing sensitive father.
Carla: So that is what this is about? You shouldn’t sweat the sensitive Dad stuff. You’ll get there.
Dr. Cox: You don’t know anything.
J.D.: How did you know I’d move to fast with Julie?
Dr. Cox: How do you know that I can be that kind of dad?
Turk: How did you that Kelso just wanted respect?
Elliot: Because I know you!
Carla: Because I know you!
Janitor: Because I know him!
Todd: [watches it on the security camera] This is so cool!
“Scrubs: My Rite of Passage (#5.2)” (2006)
Jordan Sullivan: Let’s go Per!
Dr. Perry Cox: I’ve been waiting for an hour.
Jordan Sullivan: I know, I was leafing though a magazine and watching you on the security cameras. My favorite part is when you said “Screw her!” and then you stormed out, but then you came back because you realised
[waves keys]
Jordan Sullivan: I have the keys!
Dr. Perry Cox: Jordan. Now that you work here *h-every* day, if the carpool torturing persists, I’m gonna put a plexi-glass seperator right down the middle of the car so you can’t drive me crazy – you can’t, you can’t, you can’t. Unfortunately your door handle doesn’t work from the inside, which simply means that if we’re in a fiery crash you won’t be able to get out. Eeh, whatever.
[Jordan walks off while Cox is still speaking. He doesn't even notice]
Dr. Perry Cox: That’s a risk I’m sure willing to take.
[looks up to see Jordan gone]
Dr. Perry Cox: Jorderoo?
[camera switches to the view of Dr. Cox on the security monitor]
Dr. Perry Cox: Hello?
Jordan Sullivan: I’m in here! You can’t see me!
Dr. Perry Cox: Jordan!
Dr. John “J.D.” Dorian: [Jd is in "time-out" when Cox's Interns for saying "let's rock'n roll"] I’m an attending
Dr. Perry Cox: Tell it to the wall Newbie
Dr. Christopher Turk: How do i know this guy?
Dr. Perry Cox: Maybe you used to date him?
Dr. Christopher Turk: Oh that’s so clever. I’m gay! Wow! It’s good!
Dr. Perry Cox: I’m tired
Dr. Perry Cox: Oh. Would everyone please watch this? Because nobody, but nobody, cries like Sammy. He leads off with the Chin Quiver.
[Thompson does so]
Dr. Perry Cox: Then he goes right to the Look Away.
[Thompson drops his eyes, and waves off Jordan's hand on his shoulder]
Dr. Perry Cox: He tries to hold it back but he just can’t because there’s too much pain!
[Thompson's body shudders]
Dr. Perry Cox: And then finally, he squeezes out one single… tear
[mock cries and leads the applause]
Dr. Perry Cox: … Ladies and gentlemen, that is some quality Crack Addict Theatre!
Dr. Christopher Turk: I can’t watch this.
Nurse Roberts: Then move your big, bald biscuit head! Some of us don’t have cable.
Jordan Sullivan: Sam? What are you doing back here?
Sam Thompson: Hey, lambchop. Uh, crazy story – I was, uh, I was taking a bus to my plane ticket, there was an accident, and thank God I’m alive. I’d hug you but I, uh, uuuggghhh
[wiggles handcuffed hand and chuckles]
Sam Thompson: !
Dr. Kelso: Jordan. This is one of our most famous con artist-slash-drug addicts.
Sam Thompson: Nice to see you, sir.
Dr. Kelso: You as well. Turkleton? You’ve dealt with him before…
Sam Thompson: Hey, dude!
Dr. Kelso: why didn’t you tell her?
Dr. Christopher Turk: [Pointing at Cox] ‘Cause he told me not to!
Dr. Perry Cox: This is gonna cost you.
Dr. Perry Cox: It’s a rite of passage that you have to go through around here to be accepted.
Jordan Sullivan: Oh my God! You actually did something nice for me!
Dr. Perry Cox: No, no. No no no no no no no. It was a selfish act. If other people talk to you, you won’t have to talk to me!
“Scrubs: My Cake (#4.6)” (2004)
Dr. Perry Cox: Say, Barbie, for a second there, I thought you were being a little bit cold, but then you really saved it with the ”
[sigh]
Dr. Perry Cox: … ‘Kay.”
Dr. Elliot Reid: What are you going to do, hide from him all day and then call him “Ginger”?
Dr. Perry Cox: No. It’s Monday, which of course means it’s Ethnic Day, so I’ll be going with Rosalita, and besides, I have a plan.
Dr. Elliot Reid: Which is?
Dr. Perry Cox: Yeah, unfortunately, the first part of the plan is not to share it with people who annoy me. Want to hear the second part?
Dr. Elliot Reid: Sure
Dr. Perry Cox: I can’t. My hands are tied by the first part
Dr. Perry Cox: Hey, Newbie? Just in case you didn’t actually notice, I have been covering all your patients, answering all your pages, and doing pretty much everything shy of picking up your sundress from the drycleaners.
J.D.: Well, I didn’t ask you to do any of that, did I?
[he storms off]
Dr. Perry Cox: Outstanding! You’re walking away like a pissy little ingrate. I mean, bravo!
[starts applauding]
Dr. Perry Cox: Bravo, ah!
[He whistles as Ted walks up and joins him in applauding. Cox stops clapping]
Ted: What are we clapping for?
Dr. Perry Cox: His dad just died.
[Ted's applause trails off]
Dr. Perry Cox: Dammit
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