suburgatory-pilot-premiere-quotes-spoilersSitcoms are taking the fall season so far, we already reviewed premiere of 2 Broke Girls, and upcoming premiere of How to be a gentleman.
Up All Night, Free Agents and Whitney are other sitcoms that already started, and new seasons of How I Met Your Mother and Two and a Half Men with Ashton Kutcher started too, and the big hit New Girl premiered, earning the first full season pickup.
Now it´s time for a new show that got in the middle of, well, The Middle and Modern Family: Suburgatory.

What is Suburgatory About? Plot Synopsis

Tessa and George have been on their own ever since Tessa’s mom pulled a “Kramer vs. Kramer.” So far George has done a pretty good job of raising Tessa without a maternal figure in their lives, but suddenly he’s feeling a little out of his league, especially after he finds a pack of condoms in her room. So it’s goodbye New York City and hello suburbs. At first Tessa is horrified by the big-haired, fake-boobed mothers and their sugar-free, Red Bull-chugging kids. But little by little, she and her dad begin to find a way to survive on the clean streets of the ‘burbs. Sure, the neighbors might smother you with love while their kids stare daggers at your back, but underneath all that plastic and caffeine, they’re really not half bad. Being in the ‘burbs can be hell, but it also may just bring Tessa and George closer than they’ve ever been.

Best Quotes and Spoilers from Suburgatory Pilot

Tessa: If someone asked me what´s the biggest difference between Manhattan and the suburbs, I´d say the moms. It´s like the million moms march

Tessa: What´s with all these moms?
George: They are people, just like you and me

George: I don´t have a wife
Echo: don´t have a wife, don´t have a wife, don´t have a wife, don´t have a wife
George: Crap

Dallas: So, are you an architect or are you gonna come in and kkkkhhhkkkkhhh (stranguling noises)?
George: Well, I AM an architect
Dallas: So come on in!

George: Well, people here gossip
Dallas: It´s just the neighbors being neighbors

Dalia: Nose job, nose job, nose job, nose job
Tessa: I guess I know what is the most popular elective

Tessa: So my classmates thought I was a vagitarian, my dad thought I was a nympho, and I was starting thinking I was living in a horror movie

Dallas: You need to go grab a snack in the food´s court and have a seat over there in the dad´s couch.

Dallas: That´s just Girl 101
George: Bloating, Girl 101

Tessa: I know why we are doing this. It´s because your mom feels sorry for me.
Dalia: No, it´s because my mom wants to screw your dad
Tessa: Doesn´t your mom screw your dad?
Dalia: Uhh… no

Dallas: It´s something a burn victim would wear
Tessa: Are you calling my bra ugly?
Dallas: Well, honey, it is ugly

Noah: This was named the country´s fifth best place to raise a kid
Tessa: I don´t have kids! And you ruined my life!

Tessa: We didn´t speak much. Instead dad and I expressed our feelings through passive agressive reference books.
(Tessa´s reading How to become an emancipated minor, and George´s reading Is Adoption for you?)

Tessa: Is that your mom?
Lisa: Yeah
Tessa: Is that your brother?
Lisa: Yeah

Tessa: It was presumptuous, it was inappropriate, and it was by far the prettiest thing I had

Jocelyn: Hi George, I´m stalking you
George: Oh oh

What do you think about Suburgatory Pilot Quotes? Will you keep watching the show? Did you watch Suburgatory? Let me know your thoughts in the comments section.

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